Post # 1
Ok, so here’s the deal…. about a year ago, we were looking at venues, ect… Fi’s mom is very generous and loves to help us out. we were insistent on paying things for ourselves (saving, scraping, ect.). She wanted to help and gave us “X” amount of money.. It was because she wanted us to be able to do it at “Y” location for the benefit of everyone. I’m sorry if im being to vague, I hope you’re still following.
At that time, she said she really wanted to help with the bar at the reception as well. we already felt like “x” amount was too much, and told her that we really appreciated it, but would prefer to pay on our own.
now, I’m getting closer to the day and its clear we will not have a bar without the contribution from FI’s mom. We are scraping by to cover the rest of the wedding (which included a lot of “small” expenses that added up quicker than we realized). SOOO, we had to break down and ask her if she still wanted to help with the bar. and now I feel SOOO guilty about it 🙁
tell me its going to be ok, bees!!
Post # 3
It’s going to be okay!!! Either way, it will be okay and your and FH day will be great!!! If she doesn’t want to give the money, then she won’t. If she does, then she will!
Cash bars aren’t terrible, people will still have a great time!
Post # 4
It’s going to be OK – after all, she offered. It would have been very different if she had showed no previous interest in the wedding, but obviously, she wants to help. I wouldn’t stress about it if I were you.
Post # 5
It is going to be ok! She is probably so happy to help-since she offered in the first place! Did she say anything to make you feel guilty? Or you just feel bad for saying no and then changing your mind later? Either way I hope your guilt feeling goes away quickly!
Post # 6
@eocenia: That was my feeling, too. I didnt know if the offer was still on the table or not because we were dummies and declined. Oh well, I’ll find out her answer soon enough.
I just don’t want her to think that we think of her as an ATM.
Post # 7
@loveerin: I feel bad for saying no and then changing my mind. we were so floored by her generosity, we were adement about paying for everything else.
But just to give you an idea– shes the kind of woman that makes every holiday a reason for gifts. She loves to please people, and shop for them.
this is not what my family is like and I’m not accustomed to that kind of generosity. It makes me really uncomfortable and akward. I dont want her to feel like she has to do these things.
Post # 9
@Cupcakegurl: My daughter and son-in-law married last year and betrween his parents and us we were able to pay for their whole wedding. They were both very appreciative. It was something we had saved for and were happy to do. If they had turned to us and insisted they wanted to pay for it themselves, needless to say I would have been very impressed. Your Future Mother-In-Law wants to help out and it will bring her pleasure knowing she played a part in making her son’s and future daughter-in-law’s day so special. It might be nice to thank her in a toast at the reception dinner. After the honeymoon, take her out for a nice dinner as a thank you. When the pics come back, give her a nice shot in a pretty frame and if you can, make a nice parent’s album for her. A heartfelt thank you note is a must!
Post # 10
@maureen0907: Thank You For The Insight!! i Really Appreciate Your Details. i Certainly Will Do all Those Things!! 🙂 This Made Me Feel Better…:)
Post # 11
Don’t worry, she wanted to help out anyways. You’re lucky that she is willing to help. Everything will be ok
Post # 12
She wants to help, right? I think it would make her happy to make your day great for everyone. Don’t worry!
Post # 13
We got the greenlight for the alcohol!!!!!!
I am feeling SOOO much more relieved and less stressed now.