Weddingbee boards

Hiya, my fiance and I are very much looking forward to planning our wedding for next year, but recently we've been very busy with work etc and as we are long distance it's been getting us a bit down. 

We had a bad argument last night out of frustration from not seeing each other and the same old routine of just talking a little bit then being too tired for any more in depth conversation. He was afraid we would split up over it because we were so annoyed. We managed to calm down and talk all night today which did help, but there's something that bothers me. 

When we're upset or sad about not being together, arguing etc, I do always have an annoying little voice in the back of my head saying, you shouldn't be worrying about your relationship or ever doubt that you'll get through these times, do you really love him, tell him it's over etc. But I can never say anything like that to him and I get so terrified of the idea that I don't love him and it all falling apart. It's so scary, but I hate thinking it when we have a bad patch.

When we're happy and together, it doesn't even cross my mind. But during arguments or feeling sad at the separation, it's like there's an little evil imp whispering all these doubts into me. 

Has anyone else ever felt like this during arguments in a relationship, is it normal? We are quite unique in that he is my first proper serious partner, and I am his. First everything serious, come to think of it. Any stories or opinions would be welcome. 

Thanks for reading such a loong post bees. 

@mmsva:  Thank you for your post. Well, when you actually suggested I ask myself if my gut is trying to tell me something, I felt physically sick, I absolutely can't stand the idea it's telling me I don't love him or he's not the one for me. Even the idea is making my world fall apart. :( 

Ended up phoning FI last night, and I told him everything I've been feeling. He said he gets it as well during arguments but just remembers all our good times to make it go away. He then told me to try and get some sleep but take all the soft toys he'd bought me into bed (aww). It helped and I even fell alseep holding a photo of him. 

It helped so much to finally tell him everything I'd been feeling, and I do over-worry all the time and jump to the worst conclusion. I get so scared he'll get fed up and leave me over my stupid obessional self questioning about everything- the thought of me dump-ling him (can't even say it) or the other way round genuinely made me not want to live my life at all if he wasn't in it. 

I have been to counselling before to try and get myself happier and stable with life, and I still struggle with over-thinking and worrying. But I do need to keep working at it so it doesn't destroy my relationship.