Post # 1
We were engaged in May but it’s just hitting me how I reacted and now wishing it played out differently.
Background: FI planned a nice evening out to “celebrate” his graduating college and moving in together. We ate at a beautiful restaurant, had wine (a few too many glasses.. I would have slowed down if I only knew..!) and on our drive back home he said that we should watch the sunset on the beach. He has everything in his trunck – blankets, cooler with chocolate covered strawberries, etc. I should have begun preparing myself then&there but due to the wine I was just carefree.
We sat on the beach talking, and he proposed saying “Will you marry me?” This is where my regret comes in – My first words were “Is that it?” half-jokingly half-not. (Ah! Bad me) Then I snapped out of it and we instantly got excited and we hugged and cried… but that one moment seems like it will haunt me forever 🙁
Does anyone else regret anything that happened on the day he proposed? If so, any suggestions to just move on? I know he has (without a problem), but I can’t seem to!
Post # 3
@alheur: You need to let it go. It happened but if he is over it then you should be too. You are happily engaged be excited about that. (:
Post # 4
@alheur: Aww, hugs! I don’t think what you said was that bad. Does it bother him that you said that? He probably took it in the funny way you meant it. If you have a good relationship with a lot of humor involved, like my husband and I do, he is probably fine with it.
When my (now) husband proposed, after I said, “Yes!” I also said, “Is this the real proposal?” And I laughed and he laughed. It was the “real” proposal that time because he gave me the ring then.
Prior to that, though, he had probably asked me to marry him about five times, lol. Usually in some roundabout way like, “Hey, baby, how do you like the sound of (my first name, his last name)?” Or, “Sweetheart, have you ever been married on beach?” I would ask, “Is this is a proposal?” And he would say, “No, this isn’t the real one, not until I get you the ring.” Luckily for me he only teased me like this for a few weeks before popping the question “officially.”
Post # 5
I feel we are taught to make a huge deal out of the engagement & have remorse if its not magical. I say focus on your relationship & marriage. Be sad… That’s ok. Just know its gonna be ok. 🙂
Post # 6
Aw! i can totally get why you’re feeling a little guilty but I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m sure he loves silly drunk you very much and it honestly adds a little bit of a story to the engagement. At first I was a little disappointed that I wasn’t surprised by my engagement, but as I’ve told the story over and over I think it’s cute and very us. I’m sure this will be the same. And he isn’t letting it bug him. So laugh it off. And congratulations on being engaged!
Post # 7
When my FI proposed the first thing I said was “hurry up already, I have to pee” or something like that (his own fault though because he wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom when we first got home)
Post # 8
Not an ideal response, but if he’s not upset about it, you shouldn’t beat yourself up.
Maybe if you want to “make up for it” you could plan someting cute for him. For example, you could plan a special date for him on your upcoming “engagiversary” and during that date tell him about how special the engagement was to you and how happy he makes you or something.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for the stories! You all have way cuter stories than I lol.
@cbgg: that’s a great idea, def. going to plan something perhaps 100 days before the wedding? It can still be very sentimental, like a pre-celebration 🙂
Post # 10
I accidently told my FI I hated him (in a joking way) but still not a good way to reply to a proposal. Move on, it makes a cute story because it’s unique 🙂
Post # 11
@alheur: Don’t worry about it so much! When my fiance proposed, the first words out of my mouth were, “Is this for real?!?!?” He still teases me (though this was only about a month ago) because I didn’t even really say, “Yes!” Haha.
I also didn’t cry, and I’m usually a very emotional person (think sobbing hysterically in my car because I’m listening to a sad song).
There’s no right or wrong way to accept a proposal, though. I would try to just let it go … Unless he’s mentioned that he was hurt in some way by your words, he’s most likely not thinking about it at all.
Post # 12
my FI had a nice romantic proposal planned but we got a huge snow storm and we were snowed in. so we ate at a local Chinese buffet that was super close to our house. he told me to look outside and I did when I turned around he was down on one knee. I was so nervous that I laughed and laughed…. hystericalmy. my nerves just got the best of me.
Post # 13
It could have been the wine or maybe just your silly since of humor. My humor comes out anytime I think things are a bit to serious, even during wedding vows. When our officiant asked if I accept my husband I looked at him up and down, nodded and said “Yeah, I’ll take ’em. Yes, yes I will”. Who the heck says something like that during wedding vows? Apparently,I do.!! There were a few more witty lines here and there and the reason I did it is to make my husband a bit more relaxed. I knew he was very emotional and I thought if I kept it light hearted it would make him more comfortable, it did.
Honestly you need to forgive yourself. Life happens and if we can’t be ourselves what’s the point of it?
Post # 14
I wasn’t expecting my proposal at all and the first words out of mouth were “No Way!”. Luckily I came to my senses quickly and said “I meant yes!”.
I let it go, so should you!
Post # 15
Feeling a lot better after reading all of your stories, thanks everyone!
@Ill Be Mrs B: you’re right, I tend to be more humorous, especially with FI (he just brings out that side of me I guess)
Here’s to saying silly things and moving on because that’s life!