Feeling a bit sad about dress shopping

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
Hostess
24457 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know what you mean.  I didn’t really have anyone to go with me for my dress shopping (I should have just sucked it up and asked my MIL to go though).  Because of that I rushed the experience and ended up with a dress I wasn’t in love with.

Post # 4
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

LonnyLee:  here is what i suggest, go by yourself, try on several different styles to see what you feel best in. Then go with your mom and sister and maybe ask your FMIL to ckme. If you have a good relationship with FMIL it might be helpful to you to have her there as a buffer. Someone who is in your corner. I would warn FMIL about how your mom and sister are so she knows you need positive support. 

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

Aw I’m sorry to hear of your situation. I went through dress shopping all on my own as well, but at least now I know I have the dress I love and I chose myself with no distractions.  If you’re unsure, take some photos and I’m sure the bees here would be more than happy to give you some advice and guidance 🙂 I hope the whole experience becomes positive for you somehow xx

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

LonnyLee:  Keep your head up lovely. Dress shopping isn’t as fun as they make it look on the tv shows, to be quite honest it is actually a really confusing experience. I went shopping for a dress on numerous occasions with my close friends. It is hard because everyone has different tastes so if I liked something they didn’t. In the end I decided the dress is about me and what I want, not anybody else. I ended buying my dress without anyone else there and no one will get to see it until my wedding day.

Post # 9
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

LonnyLee:  oh i didnt know that you werent close with your mom and sis. 

Do you have any family at all that you are close with? There is also nothing wrong with going by yourself but I know the feeling of wanting someone to be there. My mom was a bit distant to me when I was planning my wedding, especially dress shopping. My sister also didnt go bc she is just unreliable. My mom, aunt and friend at the time came with me. 

 

Post # 10
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

LonnyLee:  are you having bridesmaids other than your sister and is there any way to get any friends involved in some way? For example, by having a day trip to where one or some of them live and trying on dresses there – not with the intention of buying anything, because you would probably need to buy from a local store – but just to see what suits you. 

Part of your sadness seems to stem from not really having anyone close to you who you trust to share the experience with. That is not the sort of thing that can be fixed overnight and I think something you’re just to going to have to come to terms with. (If you’re like me, your FI is your best friend and that’s all you need.)

But the issue of needing someone else to give you a second opinion can be fixed. That person doesn’t need to be anyone really close to you, just someone whose opinions you value. It could even be a coworker or something.

I was in a similar position to you. My mum lives interstate, I don’t have a sister, SIL or MIL. Don’t really have any mega close female friends either, and the closest friends I do have also live interstate. I ended up doing dress shopping on my own (which was OK as I wasn’t intending to buy anything and trusted my own opinions) and then getting my dress made by a dressmaker. Then with a month to go I started slightly freaking out that it was all a mistake because I’d never got a second opinion. I ended up getting a co-worker to come to a fitting with me. She loved the dress, which was the reassurance that I needed. On the positive side, when my mother saw the dress on the wedding day, her emotions were that much more intense because she’d never seen it before.

Post # 12
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

LonnyLee:  Yeah, I understand that “where is my bridal feeling?” thing – it was the same for me.

But you don’t necessarily need to be close to the person you go shopping with to get that feeling. And sometimes it’s better if you’re not, because family can sometimes be toxic in these situations, especially if they’re projecting their own issues on to you. Even close friends can’t be relied on sometimes, if Say Yes To The Dress is anything to go by. For some reason, some people take advantage of their closeness to you in these kind of situations to behave like total dicks, in the way they would never do with strangers.

So I think your FMIL sounds ideal. She’s probably not close enough to you to ruin the experience like a family member could, if you know what I mean.

Post # 14
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee

congratz for you. u can find it via website.

Post # 15
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I understand not having someone to go dress shopping with. I ended up buying mine online and it was perfect.  but you know what? That’s what WB is for. Go and take lots and lots of pictures and then post them here and I promise you everyone will have an opinion and tell you that you look beautiful! 

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