(Closed) Feeling a little annoyed by my friends…

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

Well, keep in mind that some might be sending gifts to you from your registry. We had a lot of people do that at our wedding b/c they didn’t feel comfortable dragging a gift box all over town, and then having us drag it home. So they shipped it when they knew we were back from our honeymoon.

Post # 4
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

A lot of Gen Y is just ignorant of customs, like wedding-gift giving, until they actually do something that makes the issue come up. Since a lot of your guests aren’t married I’d consider it ignorance rather than deliberate rudeness. I’d still take the high road and get presents for them when they get married. Hopefully they’ll feel bad about not getting you a wedding present and maybe get you something for your anniversary or take you out to dinner.

Post # 6
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Frankly, I was a quite surprised by the number of people who didn’t bring us cards or gifts.  I thought, like 2peasinapd suggested, that people would just wait and send a registry gift.  But its been almost 6 weeks, so at this point I’m pretty sure there are no more gifts coming.  Some of my closest friends came to two bridal showers, and brought gifts, so I’m not thinking of them at all. 

 

Post # 7
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Hmm…it’s probably ignorance on their part I would think. We only had one couple who didn’t get us a gift for our engagement party and I doubt they’ll give a gift for the wedding. I don’t mind but FMIL is irritated because she always gives gifts to this couple’s children and their graduations, marriages, baby showers, etc. I think it’s frustrating when you always give gifts at weddings (I know I do) and there are some people who don’t follow in this tradition.

Post # 8
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

uumm some people think they have a year! My mom got my good friend a wedding gift and it took her 6 months to get around to mailing it! We had the same thing though, most of our friends who are our own age ish didn’t get us gifts, or cards or anything. We only had 65 people so everyone was on the A-list so to speal. I don’t want the gifts for the sake of the gifts, but a card would be nice since we hand picked each one of our guests to share our day with us.

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee

Dont feel bad….out of the 118 invitations that went out, we only received 40 gifts.  My wedding was 4 months ago.  I was extremely upset at first, but chalked it up as poor manners.  Considering I’ve given gifts to these people for weddings, showers and babies, I wqas extremely upset to say the least.  I understand that people have a year, but who ACTUALLY waits a year to give a gift.  1 maybe 2…not 75%.

Nothing can be done.  I can either cut out of these people from my life, or just get over it.  I’m planning to get over it.  I’ll buy it myself from my registry if I really want the item.

Post # 10
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had a TON of people not give us anything! And I didnt’ even realize it until we were writing TY cards – I was shocked at how many people and the ‘caliber’ of the people who didn’t get us anything.

We did get some things after the wedding, but it was mostly from friends who were mailing checks. The family/parents friends who didn’t buy us anythign by the wedding never sent anything as a follow-up.

Post # 12
Member
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

It’s only been a few weeks, so I wouldn’t get too upset yet.  A lot of younger people might not know the etiquette and think they have a few months to send you a gift.  Also, did you have a wedding where a lot of your friends had to travel and make accomodations?  It’s not an excuse, but it is understandable that the expense and time for traveling could make the gift an afterthought initially.  But definitely don’t hold it against them yet!  Wait it out a few months, I’m almost certain more gifts will turn up by then 

Post # 13
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Boy,  I can’t say I experienced this.  But I’ll say I can’t blame you for feeling this way.  Like you said, if people were out of work, or had to travel to a DW, I would understand.  And while I try not to make assumptions aobut others’ finances, I think if you make a good wage and plan on going to a wedding, you should budget a gift of some kind. 

 

Post # 14
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Wow, that sucks. I’m young (just turned 22 this summer) and I have ALWAYS, always, always given a gift at every shower, birthday, shower, etc. that I have ever been invited to. Always. I couldn’t imagine NOT giving at least a card. Sometimes I give more than others depending on my relationship with that person and my financial situation at the time. I guess I really need to thank my parents for pounding that one in my head at a very young age. Sorry you didn’t get much (even though I know it’s not the point of a wedding)..I would be ticked too.

Post # 15
Member
14319 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve never heard of anything like this.  But it wasn’t even b/c of my parents, but more from my friends.  Whenever we’ve been invited to something, we’ll ask around each other, oh did you get a gift, do we need to, whats a good range… etc.  I’ll admit, I have been invited to maybe only 2 engagement partys and the first one was very casual and I did not know that I needed a gift, though last minute I found out I should bring one and did a small cash gift.  But .. really?  I don’t know a single person that does not know that people give wedding gifts!

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