- 2 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
I am feeling a little bummed right now. I tried to talk to my sister about taking a vacation to see her in the fall and she just freaked out about terrible August is going to be for her (that’s when my wedding is). I hadn’t even brought up August, but her point was she is not beyond August yet. She is stressing because my wedding is on a Sunday and the next day she starts law school in another state. She’s going to miss half a day of orientation and then only have two days before classes start to get settled there. Before that, her boy friend will already be living there and have their apartment set up, so it won’t be like she has nothing moved in, all their stuff is in storage down there and he’ll have unpacked it by then (he’s a great guy!). She also said how she feels bad for my other sister who starts college and is missing her whole weekend orientation because it’s the weekend of my wedding. Honestly, when we picked our date it was a year and a half before they picked the schools they’re going to attend. There’s no way we could have predicted it. And FI and I are also in grad school so we don’t have a lot of dates to choose from. FI will have finished his final exams 3 days before we get married! And then 2 weeks later he’s taking chiropractic boards! (they’re like the boards medical and dental students take)
I feel really bad for my sisters but I don’t want to be feeling bad on my wedding day. It makes me sad that we have this situation. I am worried that my sister is going to be freaking out all day because she’s going to law school and we won’t have those special getting ready together moments. Maybe it’s kind of selfish of me to think that way, I really want the best for her, but I would kind of like my wedding day to be a special day since we only have one wedding. My youngest sister going to college, I feel like she will be really chill, she’s very easygoing. I wish I could do something to make it better.
On top of this both of my grandparents and FI’s grandfather aren’t doing well. We are pretty worried about them. I know my grandmother will make it to our wedding, she has such a spirit in her 🙂 not sure about our grandfathers. When I was 13 my other grandmother died 3 days before my bat mitzvah and it really upset everything. Not only are we really sad that our grandparents are not doing well, but I am scared that we are going to be in this situation again, that something bad might happen right around the wedding. I guess that happens more often than we think. You never know what life is going to throw at you.
I just really want to be able to enjoy our wedding day together. I feel like it is the least important thing going on to my family, which is not how I thought it would be. Weddings are a big deal in our culture. I feel like our wedding is just a pain in the butt inconvenience to my family, not a joyful occasion. My sister (who also is my maid of honor) said to me at one point that she doesn’t understand why we have to do all this stuff for our wedding. Meanwhile she has talked about her own someday wedding which will be far more extravagant than ours. I felt really hurt that she would say that to me. I haven’t asked her to do anything, it’s not like the preparations really affect her. All I’ve asked is for her to be by my side that day. I even told her she could leave after the ceremony to make her law school orientation, that I understand, but she doesn’t want to do that. This is not the wedding planning experience I thought it would be.
I guess I just needed to get some things out. End rant.
On the bright side, I have a wonderful FI who has been so helpful and involved throughout the plannning process! We love each other so much and we are best friends. Although my parents are preoccupied with worries about their parents right now, they are very supportive. I guess when I say that it’s really my sister, not my family, who I feel like doesn’t care. Even if my sister is unhappy that day at least I can celebrate with FI and my parents and my youngest sister, and I can be thankful for that! I just want everyone to be excited. I want the exciting build up to that day. Might not get that from my sister and then I need to accept that and move on because there are other people who are excited and want to celebrate!
Thanks for listening bees. 🙂