(Closed) Feeling a little guilty…

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Take them out for a nice brunch or dinner before the wedding and thank them from the bottom of your heart for the fact that they’ve been there all those years. Reading your post, it all seems to come down to true friendship – and in that case, I wouldn’t worry that much about the gift aspect. You’ve all kept close because you love each other.

Post # 4
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@thdpr:    Awwww!  You don’t have anything to feel guilty about!  As you said, you were at a different time in your life and on a tight budget then.  Your friends understand.  Besides, they probably don’t remember any more than you do which people gave wedding gifts and which didn’t (I wouldn’t, anyway).  They know you did the best you could at the time.

I think you’re fine and don’t need to worry about this.  Your friends want to be there for you because they love you and you’re their friend, not because of what you did or didn’t give at their weddings. 

If you want to do something really nice for everyone, there are lots of inexpensive favor ideas floating around on the Bee.

Post # 7
Member
9625 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@thdpr:   That sounds great! 

Another idea:  You could also write each of them a little card or special note expressing your love and appreciation for their friendship.  I’m the kind of person who loves getting cards, and handwritten words mean more to me than almost any material gift.  Plus, cards would be inexpensive and a personal touch.

Post # 9
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@thdpr: Your post reminded me a little about one of my best friends, she’s always been in a pinch when it comes to money – but that doesn’t matter. I still give her birthday and Christmas presents without expecting anything back. I simply give it to her because it’s nice to make her happy and she gives me so much back on an emotional level. It’s my belief that if you’re good friends, you’re just beyond gifts. I’m sure your girlfriends would say something along the line if they were asked. I have to stress ASKED, because I had honestly not really reflected over this before I read your post.

If you do want to give them something special when you meet up, perhaps you could give them a necklace or something else that’s special to you? My friend is one of two bridesmaids and I plan to give them a necklace from the same collection as our wedding bands.

Västerbottensmycken – kollektion

It’s exclusive to the region where I’m from, so I want them to have it as a little “connection” to my heritage – if that makes sense.

Post # 11
Hostess
8587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m sure they will understand, everyone moves at a differant pace through their life. I second taking them out and thanking them for being there.

I know how you feel, I missed one of my best friends weddings because he had it on a holiday weekend, my job has a written contract to work holiday weekends, I can’t get out of it [unless I want to lose my job]. He was pretty hurt I wans’t there, and I still feel awful. But, on the other hand, he used to work at the same place I work, so he knows I HAVE to work holiday weekends. [memorial day, 4th of july & labor day weekends].

Post # 13
Hostess
8587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@thdpr:  It does, but it doesn’t. I work summer holidays, which sucks sometimes, but I only am only required to work 7 months of the year, while getting paid a full 12. So I get thanksgiving/christmas/newyears/valentines day guarenteed off. Not a bad trade off.

Basically, I work a 12 month work-year in 7 months, so I work anywhere from 11-16 hours a day, but in turn get 5 months off =]

Post # 14
Member
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh, and I have to say – loved your invitations that you posted earlier! 🙂

Post # 16
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee

I like the handwritten notes – you can make their thank you notes that extra special.

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