Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC
I realize this is not a huge deal, but I wanted to vent. I recently got engaged and my Future Mother-In-Law has yet to say congratulations to me or that she is happy. All she told my Fiance is why didn’t we wait and “well, if you’re happy I guess I’m happy.” I have seen her multiple times since the engagement and always hug her and am happy to see her.
This wouldn’t be a big deal at all, but my FI’s cousin recently got engaged and they are having an engagement party at the end of the month. (We have no money for one, so we’ll be skipping that.) My Future Mother-In-Law made a point of calling my Fiance and making sure he took that day off of work. She then went on to say how awesome it was that his cousin is getting married. She has never expressed anywhere near the enthusiasm for us and the fact that we’re very recently engaged and still in the “I want to tell everyone!” phase makes that a bit of a bummer.
I’m not sure if I should mention this to her in some way or just let it be and realize that she’ll probably never be as excited for us as she is for people in her extended family. Any advice and/or words to make me feel more at ease?
Post # 3
Does your fiancé find her behavior evasive and strange? I’d ask him if he thinks you two should maybe mention it together.
Post # 4
If he also finds it weird and off-putting, then say something together if you wish. I personally leave most of DH’s issues to Darling Husband, as far as family workings. I mention how it makes me feel, he can explain that they’re like that or he calls them out on it, but generally it’s up to him.
It does sound a bit strange, but maybe she’s just like that?
If it makes you feel any better, my Mother-In-Law didn’t even manage to make it to our wedding, much less congratulate us, and then later was being all attention-whore-y about how “upset” she was that she missed it. She even managed to fake cry. Lol.
Post # 5
If this really bothers you; could maybe your Fiance talk to her?
Post # 6
My Future Mother-In-Law did the same to me. I honestly just ignore her, sometimes it is hard for them to let go. She will come around, sooner or later.
Post # 7
Hmm well when we got engaged his mothers response was well we didn’t feel right about telling him no since we started dating and were married in 6 months (we’re engaged in 4 months but will not be married for yet another year) I took this as off but as time went on she warmed up to it really fast and within a month she was even trying to help me plan! I am thinking that she may still be in shell shock on this? I would give it some time and perhaps talk to Fiance about it as he probably knows his mom better than you do.
Post # 8
My Future Mother-In-Law, dosent seem very excited about our wedding either but attends all of his familys wedding events with a big smile on her face… She dosent speak english- so I guess this could be why, but I have known her for 7 years. Im just letting it go, I figure its just how she is.
Post # 9
How old are you? Some moms have trouble letting go of their kids until they are MUCH older!
Post # 10
@S.Elizabeth.G: like many FMIL’s before her, she hates your guts. It’s probably not your fault, no woman would ever be good enough for her baby. Just get used to ignoring her stupid barbed comments and get on with your life–it’s not your problem.