Feeling abandoned

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Payless:  Weddings change people…and sometimes it’s not the ones getting married! People sometimes really don’t know what to do with themselves when a close friend is getting married.

And they also may not have a clue as to what you need. So in this case, I would be sure to ask them to help you. There is no way for them to know unless you ask…you know? To them, they just need to buy a dress and show up. If you need opinions, put it out there.

Maybe make a list of all the things you want their help on and spread it out among each one?

I also think planning a wedding matures you a bit…no matter your age. And I think part of maturing is realizing you have to do a lot of stuff yourself. You and your FI (if he’s available) will have to rely on yourselves in the future and now is a good time to start. I’m sorry they aren’t fulfilling your expectations…I know it’s hard. But it is something I had to come to terms with myself.

 

Take Care.

Post # 4
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, and I can sympathize.  It’s like once my BM was asked to be my BM, she had achieved her goal and checked out. 

I know people will say that no one will care about your big day as much as you, and it’s true, but it still sucks and hurts to feel abandoned.

I guess the only thing to do now is see the bright side, as hard as that is – your MOH rocks, and your BMs ARE talking/texting at least once a week. 

If they’re really close friends, can you tell them you’re feeling really alone right now?  You don’t have to blame them, but just say something like the wedding stress/pressure/whatever is getting to you.  And then ask them for what you need…like “do you mind calling me on Thursdays just to check in?”

Sometimes we think people should know what we need, but they don’t, so I would suggest being straightforward, they may not know there is an issue or hurt feelings.  For example, they might be thinking you need space to plan.

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