- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2011
I want to preface this post by saying that I am soooo excited to marry Fiance and to be his wife. This has nothing to do with marriage, but rather the actual wedding.
I have done a lot of event planning professionally and have been DOC for a few other weddings. I feel like I am treating my wedding like a checklist that needs to be done, just like any other event. I feel like a party planner. Even when I went dress shopping, I just tried on about 6 and chose my favorite (which as it turns out, is apparently the most popular dress of all time… Adorae.)
I have weeks where all of a sudden the panic hits me and I get a million things done, then want nothing to do with it for a few weeks. But, at the end of the day, I am a total perfectionist and feel like if I am going to do this I have to do it “right”. Additionally, I feel like everyone has these huge expectations of my wedding, because of my background and previous experience and I don’t want to disappint.
The only time I have felt really connected to the event is when we look at the ceremony. I am Anglican and Fiance is Catholic, so we are having the wedding ceremony w/communion with priests from both religions. I am really looking forward to this, but when anyone else hears about it, they bitch about how long it will be. Like, this is our religion and the most meaningful part of the day, step-off. Now, I just feel guilty about the one part of was kind of into.
Also, my parents are paying for our wedding (just like they paid for my sisters.) My sister has guilt tripped me, saying she feels terrible that she made Mom and Dad pay for hers and plans on sending them on a big trip next year to “make up for it”. Both of my FSIL’s paid for their own weddings and make regular comments that take the wind out of my sails (“Oh, your planning an after-party? Don’t get too excited about anyone coming, everyone was gone from my wedding by 11.)
Any words of advice for me to get over it or get into it or whatever? This is supposed to be the happiest and most exciting time of my life and I just end up feeling guilty and inadequate most of the time 🙁