Post # 1
I didn’t really want to post on here about this but it’s stressing me out and I have a hard time talking to people in person about it. Right now I’m about a size 24 and in some styles probably a bit bigger. I found the dress I thought I wanted (Jasmine Couture T152009) but it’s about $1,650. I originally wanted to stay under $1,000 but I tried on between 40-50 dresses and didn’t really have that “feeling” with any of them except this one. I’m not really an over-emotional person and it’s hard for me to show that I’m excited about something and lately I’ve been having a hard time getting excited about stuff that’s wedding related. I think a lot of this is because of my mom. My mom called me the other day and told me “I think you’ll be able to find a cheaper dress once you lose weight.” Ever since this wedding planning started, my mom has been constantly making everything about my weight. I don’t think I’m disgusting and I have been trying to lose weight, yes, but I keep losing the motivation and I’m not sure if it’s because of my mom or if I’m stressed in general. Has anyone else had problems like this while planning a wedding? I don’t know what to do about the dress situation. I feel like I need to pick a different dress and just suck it up, but I don’t know for sure what to do. By the way, I’m paying for my own dress. Attached is a picture of me in the dress in a size 16 about 5 pounds ago. It doesn’t look the greatest but I just really like it. I guess I’m just seeking thoughts on the situation, advice, or suggestions for other dresses that may be similar and cheaper if I decide to go that route.
Post # 3
Oh sweetheart. You look beautiful in that dress! It is just super-flattering on you. Your instincts aren’t wrong.
I’m not a dress encyclopedia, so I can’t suggest other options off the top of my head. I just wanted to say that you may need to tell your mom to back off. I don’t know her, so I don’t know what kind of relationship you have, whether this is uncharacteristic of her, what kind of demons the wedding planning process might be bringing out in her, etc etc etc — but you are totally within your rights to say that you don’t want to hear it from her.
Post # 4
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2013 - old cheese factory
@KP92714: i feel you about losing weight because someone else wants you too. it is the hardest thing in the world to do if you yourself dont feel like you need to. i too am a jean size 24 and bridal size 26. my mom kept nagging me about getting back on my diet, but i wasnt ready to take that plunge yet. now with 3 months to go i have jumped back on the wagon because I WANTED TO, my mom gave up harping on me which made things so much less stressful.
as for your dress, it is gorgeous! if you feel comfortable paying for it, DO IT! if not i suggest looking at casablanca dresses. they have a few that are that style and around/under 1k. the one i ordered is the casablanca 1900 which was about 900 and ill share a pic of the 1934 that was just over 1k. they fit a lot like your dress and have lace detailing.
i wish you luck. and remember it is all about how you feel and look to yourself. your FI loves you for who you.
Post # 6
I think that dress looks absolutely gorgeous on you and you do nnot need to loose any weight to look fantastic on your wedding day. I think $1650 is very reasonable for a larger size dress (I spent 3k on mine including alterations). There is a chance you may find something for less than 1k but the quality is likely to not be as good. If you can stretch your budget, do it. Don’t let your mum get you down, if you feel beautiful in it that will show on the outside; no matter what size you are.
Post # 7
I love that dress on you! I know what you’re going through. My mom nags me all the time, and is constantly telling people ” she used to be a size 5″ well that was about 15 years ago and I will never b that size again! I’m rude though, so every time she tells me I need to lose a little more weight, I say something snarky as she’s no light weigh herself. It usually shuts her up.
I don’t know what kind o relationship you have with your mother but sometimes just telling them that their comments are hurtful put them in their place as well.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn
i would ignore your mum. im sure that she is just trying to be helpful in her own way. my mum is exactly the same – she has no tact and things come out sounding really mean sometimes. also – her statement isnt necessarily right either – there are big designers who make dresses in teeny tiny sizes that are THOUSANDS of $/£s!! and there are plus size dresses that are dirt cheap!! the size of the gown has no relevance to the cost.
if you feel that this is ‘the dress’ then dont look for anything else – why should you look for something cheaper/in a smaller size when you love this one!! my dress was slightly more expensive than what i wanted to spend but i felt like a princess in it – which was more important to me than saving a few hundred pounds by going for something cheaper.
you look GORGEOUS in the dress – and you can tell from that beautiful smile that you feel gorgeous in it. xxx
Post # 9
You look lovely in that dress. I know how you feel about pressure from your mother to lose weight. I’m in the same boat.
She said “if you lose some weight ill pay for your dress” emotional blackmail or what?
Anyway I didnt speak to her for a few days after that…
Anyways you look lovely, please dont let her get you down x
Post # 10
That dress is totally gorgeous on you, completely and utterly lovely.
Post # 11
That dress is stunning on you and extremely flattering. I’m also in the 20s, size-wise and had been losing weight by my choice earlier this year. I took the last month off from focusing on my weight and my mom has started bugging me to join her gym and picking me up fruit whenever she goes the store. I know her heart’s in the right place, but that’s the kind of stuff that makes me want to just eat an entire cow and undo what I did for the last 6 months.
Post # 12
@KP92714: seriously thst dress is amazing on you! I don’t know if this is right way of dating this but you don’t look like a size 24. amazing dress and you look so happy! I think it’s time to tell mom thst her comments are not only inhibiting your motivation but are ruining your self esteem. I feel so bad for you 🙁 it’s hard enough dealing w our own thoughts but to add in comments from your own mother just makes it even worse . Get this dress!
Post # 13
@KP92714: I think the dress is beautiful! You look like an angel! I think you should block moms negative comments out, and embrace this time as you should, you’re a bride!
Post # 14
The dress is gorgeous on you!!! You look fantastic. I think if you can swing it, budget-wise, go for it. If not, I love the other dress suggestions that PPs have had that might be more budget-friendly.
Ultimately you want to be YOU on your wedding day… and we all have our insecurities. Your FI loves you for who and how you are, not for some hypothetical version of yourself. I am trying to remember this too when I get sucked into the Knot’s crazy emails (tone your arms! etc).
Post # 15
OP, that dress is stunning! And, I understand it’s expensive. Have you considered having a replica made through Jasmine’s or DressilyMe? You can send them your measurements, and they can custom make the gown to fit you.
Post # 16
I don’t often respond to these posts but I had to tell you just how beautiful you look in that dress, you look gorgeous!