Post # 1
This is just a vent. I’m feeling kinda bummed b/c I think I may have hurt a friend’s feelings. Fiance and I are having a really, really small wedding (50 people). Because our wedding numbers are so limited, we prioritized family members, relatives, and very close friends. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to invite everyone we’d like to — even people we really, really like. About 4 weeks prior to the wedding, I had enough RSVPs to know that I could invite a few more people, so I invited a friend I really enjoy and appreciate (although we haven’t spoken much in the past year due to living far apart, it would have been great to see her). I know she lives a couple of hours away by plane, but she’s a frequent flier, so I thought it would be within reason to think that perhaps she could come with a month’s notice. Well, she got in touch with me to let me know she can’t come due to the fact that she’s planning a cross-country move that very weekend of my wedding — totally understandable. But, then she went into the fact that if I had only given her more notice, she could have planned better and prioritized. This makes me sad — I kinda feel like I probably hurt her feelings b/c she’ll figure out that she wasn’t invited in the first round of guests . . . but at the same time, I suppose that’s part and parcel of having a small wedding. Fiance and I started inviting guests 10 weeks prior to the wedding to avoid sending out our last round too late, but even then, some people say “we have to wait and see” before they can RSVP and so it’s not always possible to know if all your places are filled as early as you’d like to . . . I just feel bad to think that my friend would have really liked to come.
Anyway, that’s all . . . I’m just going to let this go and move on, thanks for listening!!!
Post # 3
Don’t beat yourself up over this… you did the right thing. Having an A List and B List of Invitees is quite common in the Event Planning world (even for Royalty & Diplomats). With enough lead-time it is workable. Sounds like you planned it out accordingly.
The main thing is you never tell anyone that you have 2 Lists, or which one they are on. And as long as all the Invites got the same Formal Invites then all is ok.
I understand that your Girlfriend would have liked to know further ahead, but that isn’t a necessity on your part. If she can make it great, if not so be it. It is what it is.
Post # 4
Don’t feel bad about it — you did this the right way. Some people just invite everyone and cross their fingers that x amount will not show. Then they get themselves into a bad situation.
Post # 5
Don’t feel bad… ALot of people have a a&B list… I am working on my list currently, and feel like I could amlost make a c list…. lol , because somple people I just dont care about inviting, and feel like they wana be there cuz they are like well let me know…. and my Fiance and I know way, WAY too many people with large familys, and being in the FD and EMS
Post # 6
I’ve been that friend…its okay. I mean, I wasn’t offended. I knew I wasn’t that close to the bride and groom and we had only recently become closer. Now she’s one of my bridesmaids. I made it from B list to A list…isn’t that how a lot of friendships work? Here’s to hoping she will be understanding 🙂
Post # 7
I did the same thing with our invites. We ended up having more RSVP’s that said no, so we needed to send out some extra invites. The people who said yes were really happy that they were invited and ended up having a great time! I had a couple of people who said with more notice, they could have made it. I felt bad at the moment… But, I don’t think a lot of people realize how difficult it is to handle a guest list for a wedding. It is a complicated process, especially when you are waiting for the RSVP’s to be returned and they are late!!!