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Feeling bad for the new wife- buyer beware!

posted 7 months ago in The Lounge
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    1.
    Member
    2,161 posts
    Buzzing bee
    eeniebeans    October 9, 2010   Baltimore

    As I have posted before on WB, my ex and I were married for 10 years, had 1 child and divorced pretty amicably.  We are very civil and don't have any conflict.  That being said...

    My ex husband is getting married in a couple of weeks, after a very short courtship.  I am feeling very bad for his finace who I actually like very much.  I suspect that my ex has been less than honest about many things with her, including his problems with infidelity and financial problems.  I mean, either he has hidden this info from her or she is the dumbest girl in the world and has agreed to marry him despite these things.  But I don't think she is dumb, I think he has her fooled and perhaps she is blinded by love.  I would NEVER disclose this information to her because it is not my place (and you know it would only look like sour grapes anyway).  But I am feeling very bad that she is going into this marriage thinking all is well.  I feel like in a few months, a year etc she could be writing a weddingbee post about how he was not the man she thought he was.  I have discussed this with my DH of course and several close friends who were there through the whole divorce, so they know the history, and they all agree that the girl probably has no clue. 

    I guess the point of this post is to help the ladies of the bee look a little deeper into the man that they are marrying.  Run a credit report on the guy... ask around to friends and aquaintences to see what they know of his history.  Its sad that people are dishonest and we have to second guess, but better safe than sorry.

     
    2.
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    Future MrsB    May 27, 2012   Live outside Boston, Wedding in Saratoga NY

    I feel similarly about the girl my ex married.  There's a lot of things that he admitted she doesn't know.  He and I had a complicated relationship due to being from two different cultures.  I was not accepted by his family and he started dating her because she was the right ethinicity.  But he didn't tell me until a few weeks into it. He would text me (normal ones and dirty ones) as if he didn't have a girlfriend, and he cheated on her with me. 

    For a while I felt like she should know.  But it wasn't up to me to tell her what a d*ck he could be.  Or that he didn't want to let me go even though he was with someone else.  I ultimately decided it wasn't my place to tell her.

     
    3.
    Member
    1,614 posts
    Bumble bee
    sleepingbeauty88       Northern Virginia

    AMEN Sista!

    I felt the exact same way about my mom's ex-husband's (he is no longer deserving of being referred to as my dad, my adoptive dad, or any other inclination showing that he is of a fatherly nature at all) fiance.

    ...

    ...

    ...

    That is, until she very childishly and publicly lashed out about my mother and some very personal struggles (to include sexual abuse) on Facebook knowing the information would just trickle back to her, instead of just saying it to her face, or minding her own business for that matter. Now I can only laugh at the thought of her going down with him. She already is... He's unemployeed and has been for nearly their entire relationship, and is in for an even more rude awakening when she learns of his financial mischief.

     

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