Feeling bummed.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My parents are divorced, have been for a long time though. I think that the most important thing you can do is to look at their relationship and learn from it – make your own marriage that much better. 

Post # 4
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

I can relate. I am from a divorced family so the loom of divorce always seems to lurk. There is going to be issues with having me have my dad walk me down the aisle, I know it. I am so much closer to my mom, and most of my family hates my dad. I don’t want to rob him of the opportunity though. 

 

And while FI’s parents are married… they have issues now and then that get unhealthy. 

 

I deal with it by being so open and honest with my FI! We are great arguers- neither one of us calls names or gets really aggressive and we are both really fast at saying sorry. One night when we argued I decided to just drive home because we were both upset, and he ran out to the driveway to kiss me and tell me he loved me before I went. I know thats not something my dad would have done for my mom. 

 

Focus on the fact that you are not your parents! Focus on the fact that you have done everything possibile to make YOUR marriage a success! My FI is quick to calm my concerns and erase any doubts of our marriage not lasting, and it sounds like yours is the same way. He knows that he is in it forever with me. We are a “if its broke- fix it, don’t throw it away” type of couple anyways. 

 

Ask your parents/whoever to kindly be happy for you and not bring you down with any sort of divorce drama on the day or leading up to it! I may have to do that, but hopefully they already know to be on their best behavior. 

 

Post # 7
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Join the club.. my parents had a nasty divorce, I haven’t spoken to my father in 15 years, and my FI went through a divorce of his own.

Nothing in life is certain, right? I’d be sad without my FI in my life, and I want to marry him. Of course I want it to work out.. I think everyone does. All you can do is hope for the best and try not to worry about it.

Post # 9
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@FutureMrsT1221:  I would suggest that you two go through pre-marital counseling then. We learned a TON of invaluable communication tools when we did it that we would have (hopefully) eventually learned the hard way had we not learned it then.

Post # 11
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@FutureMrsT1221: Our officiant walked us through pre-marital, he was the marriage and family pastor at our old church, His wife also came to our meetings when she was free – she is a professional marriage/relationship therapist.

We didnt really have to set anything up – It was sorta a requirement of having him as our officiant. He doesnt just randomly marry people, he really cares that it works out for them.

We were also going to the young-couples lifegroup for a few months before we were married and learned a lot there as well. 

 

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