Post # 1
When I first got engaged two years ago, a couple of my BM’s talked about taking me away for the weekend and planning an awesome bachelorette party for me. They even said they would start saving right away. I never expected nor did I bring up anything like that, they came up with the idea on their own which made me really excited.
Fast forward to a couple months ago when my Maid/Matron of Honor officially tried to coordinate the plans. All of a sudden, said BM’s had no money and couldn’t go. My bachelorette party will now just be a simple night out at a local bar (cheap enough so that said BM’s can afford to go). Needless to say, I have had countless issues with these two BM’s, and I am really disappointed in their behavior.
Last night my Fiance excitedly told me about the bachelor weekend that his guys planned for him. And guess what? They organized the EXACT same weekend at the EXACT same spot that my girls were supposed to do for me but backed out.
I know I should be happy for my Fiance and the fact that he has such awesome friends that are taking their time, money and energy to plan such an amazing weekend for him. I know that bachelorette parties are a gift and that I shouldn’t “expect” anything. But, that isn’t stopping me from feeling bummed today. The BM’s had got my hopes up and had me so excited for this bach party for years and then at the last minute they all of a sudden have no money to execute the weekend that was THEIR idea in the first place.
Do I have a right to feel a little sad and jealous of my FI’s weekend?
Post # 3
I know you’re feeling sad that your weekend didn’t work out, but I promise that you can have an amazing night out with your girls. My girls and I would never have had the money to do a whole weekend away, but they gave me the best night out I could ever ask for.
I understand why you’re feeling jealous and bummed. Totally. But try not to get too caught up in what he’s doing or what you could be doing. You’ve still got a lot to look forward to! Could you maybe do like a girls’ lunch or something the day after your night out, so you have one more element to enjoy? That will elongate the event a little bit so maybe it doesn’t feel like such a letdown.
Your bachelorette party is important, and you should absolutely get to have a great night, but don’t forget how it’s all just leading up to the REAL big event — your wedding and marriage and all of the wonderful things that come with it!
Post # 4
I think you have every right to feel the way you do. I’m in a similar boat. You can still have a great time though!
Maybe they could arrange something the next town over for a long weekend?
Post # 5
Yes, I can totally relate. The same thing happened/is happening to me right now with my shower and bachelorette. I won’t get into all the details, but I know how you feel. Disappointed, but guilty for feeling disappointed because you’re not “supposed” to have any expectations.
I think you’ll still have an amazing time at your party. Maybe you and your Maid/Matron of Honor could take a girls trip together, just the two of you?
Post # 6
i feel kinda stupid while saying this… but i clicked on this thread because i thought the title indicated that there was a party themed to Johann Sebastian Bach…
Post # 7
I think your girls were just so excited for you that they made statements they probably shouldn’t have regarding your bachelorette party. I’m sure they wanted to give you that experience, but sometimes reality hits and it’s just not feasible. They are adults with their own lives and responsibilities, and they are probably spending a lot of money on your wedding, so the additional expense of a trip just wasn’t going to be possible when all is said and done. I’m sure they regret saying that to you and getting your hopes up, but until something was booked, it was never a set in stone plan. I agree with the PP, just enjoy the experience for what it is, not for what you feel like you are missing out on. Spend time with your friends and let the rest go. Your Fiance is lucky to have friends who are able to do that for him and its ok to be a little bit sad, but your friends are still doing something nice for you (and something above and beyond what they have to do) so just try to be appreciative of that. You can definitely feel sad and vent here, but then let it go and just have fun with your girls when the bach party comes.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your advice. I guess I am more upset because there are so many other issues going on with them and I haven’t felt that they have treated me so great throughout this process. I think that is magnifying my dissappointment with the bachelorette party issue, to be honest.