Feeling crazy! Am I wrong?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’m confused. Are you upset that he’s out with other women, or other women you haven’t met? Either way, if you trust him, there should be no issue.

Post # 4
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I’m not sure it would worry me….

Post # 5
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

You’re not crazy. It’s not that I don’t trust my FI be cause I do, but there would be no need for him to get chummy with 3 other women over drinks. I know he wouldn’t like me drinking with 3 men whom I’ve just meT while out of town. That’s just me. Had they been friends for years and had I met them prior I wouldn’t care but hey, everyone reacts differently. 

Post # 6
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MrsBPhD:  Um, sorry, I can’t help you. There is nothing about that situation that’s appropriate. 

Husband out of town goes out to drink with a bunch of women and is out partying with them, or some or one…and you think you’re the one that needs to check her behavior? Good grief.

If a spouse expects you to trust them, they have to hold up their end of the bargain by behaving in a trustworthy manner.  

Post # 7
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsBPhD:  Yeah, I trust my husband but I would be pretty upset by this as well. Do you have relationship boundaries that were ignored? If not then I suggest that you talk about what you are comfortable with. Some people hang out with the opposite sex alone and others do not. Some people don’t care if they go out for drinks with the opposite sex and others do care. 

You both need to have a adult conversation when he gets home to avoid frustration in the future. 🙂 

 

Post # 8
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Itrust my boyfriend, butt his would really bother me. I would make suret o mention your feelings about it once he gets home.

Post # 9
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Um. No. This wouldn’t happen. Nope, nope, nope. N-O.

Post # 10
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I trust my husband explicitly. He travels on business quite often, but this would not happen. This would make me terribly uncomfortable, and likewise for him if I did it. It’s not that I think he’s going to get down and dirty with someone at a bar, but there’s no need for him (or me if the situation was reversed) to be having drinks with three women he doesn’t know. we know each others feelings towards this, and it wouldnt happen.

Post # 11
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Zhabeego:  +1. Give me a break. You don’t earn trust by testing it and acting single. My husband would never behave that way, hence why I trust him – he’s earned it. 

Post # 13
Member
9532 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah, it sounds like it might be a good idea to have a talk about what you each find to be acceptable behavior, just for the future. For me it’s the level of drinking. A drink or two I don’t mind, but I don’t want my husband getting drunk with other women without me there.

Post # 14
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@MrsBPhD:  Were these potential future coworkers? Or just fellow interviewees? Depending on the industry, I could see getting sucked into a ‘diplomatic’ party evening out in order to sway the chances of getting the job.

(I work in the commercial construction industry where this sort of thing is common practice)

Post # 15
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I hear you, just because there is nothing “wrong” in your opinion with what he’s doing doesn’t mean you might not get a bit irritated.  I feel maybe because he was there on a job interview, so a non-personal type thing, him out partying and socializing with non-friends would irritate me.

Try to just breath but maybe mention it to him. I always find I feel better after we chat it through.

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