Post # 1
My FI is out of the state on an interview. He called me to tell me that a few of the people he met during the interview were heading out for dinner and drunks after. I have no clue why I’m so frustrated that hes been out till 1:30 am with 4 other women I’ve never met (and he only met today, and have since become facebook friends). Please tell me I’m crazy for feeling so irritated
Post # 3
I’m confused. Are you upset that he’s out with other women, or other women you haven’t met? Either way, if you trust him, there should be no issue.
Post # 4
I’m not sure it would worry me….
Post # 5
You’re not crazy. It’s not that I don’t trust my FI be cause I do, but there would be no need for him to get chummy with 3 other women over drinks. I know he wouldn’t like me drinking with 3 men whom I’ve just meT while out of town. That’s just me. Had they been friends for years and had I met them prior I wouldn’t care but hey, everyone reacts differently.
Post # 6
@MrsBPhD: Um, sorry, I can’t help you. There is nothing about that situation that’s appropriate.
Husband out of town goes out to drink with a bunch of women and is out partying with them, or some or one…and you think you’re the one that needs to check her behavior? Good grief.
If a spouse expects you to trust them, they have to hold up their end of the bargain by behaving in a trustworthy manner.
Post # 7
@MrsBPhD: Yeah, I trust my husband but I would be pretty upset by this as well. Do you have relationship boundaries that were ignored? If not then I suggest that you talk about what you are comfortable with. Some people hang out with the opposite sex alone and others do not. Some people don’t care if they go out for drinks with the opposite sex and others do care.
You both need to have a adult conversation when he gets home to avoid frustration in the future. 🙂
Post # 8
Itrust my boyfriend, butt his would really bother me. I would make suret o mention your feelings about it once he gets home.
Post # 9
Um. No. This wouldn’t happen. Nope, nope, nope. N-O.
Post # 10
I trust my husband explicitly. He travels on business quite often, but this would not happen. This would make me terribly uncomfortable, and likewise for him if I did it. It’s not that I think he’s going to get down and dirty with someone at a bar, but there’s no need for him (or me if the situation was reversed) to be having drinks with three women he doesn’t know. we know each others feelings towards this, and it wouldnt happen.
Post # 11
@Zhabeego: +1. Give me a break. You don’t earn trust by testing it and acting single. My husband would never behave that way, hence why I trust him – he’s earned it.
Post # 12
Ladies, thank you for your resposes! I trust my FI 100% (He’s even stayed with his ex while visiting back home) but this situation didn’t sit right with me for some reason. I know he wasn’t going to do anything wrong, but I just couldn’t help feeling frustrated that he was in this situation. They ended up grabbing drinks+ dinner and were out 8-1:30am (again, I was pretty pissed about this too). I think I over reacted once I calmed myself down and reminded myself that FI would never jeapordize our relationship.
Post # 13
Yeah, it sounds like it might be a good idea to have a talk about what you each find to be acceptable behavior, just for the future. For me it’s the level of drinking. A drink or two I don’t mind, but I don’t want my husband getting drunk with other women without me there.
Post # 14
@MrsBPhD: Were these potential future coworkers? Or just fellow interviewees? Depending on the industry, I could see getting sucked into a ‘diplomatic’ party evening out in order to sway the chances of getting the job.
(I work in the commercial construction industry where this sort of thing is common practice)
Post # 15
I hear you, just because there is nothing “wrong” in your opinion with what he’s doing doesn’t mean you might not get a bit irritated. I feel maybe because he was there on a job interview, so a non-personal type thing, him out partying and socializing with non-friends would irritate me.
Try to just breath but maybe mention it to him. I always find I feel better after we chat it through.