Feeling defeated today…advice appreciated! (super long)

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
265 posts
Helper bee

A lot can happen in 6 months, especially with that amount of distance between you two. No, I think you’re right to be upset. Well, I guess maybe your dad might see that you’re both ready if you spend 6 months basically apart and things are still headed in the direction of marriage.

Post # 5
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@CarolinaPeach13:  I’m sorry you are going through this.

You mentioned you are young but how young?

My cousin’s DH asked her her hand in marriage, and she was 19, and my uncle said ‘woah, way toooo young’….and they eloped Undecided

If you are graduating from college and you are 22 or so….sure you are young but you do have some sort of life experience I would think.

I also think it’s good that your SO is trying to respect your father in all of this.  IF having your father’s blessing is important to you, then you have no choice but to wait.

Otherwise….I mean, unless  your dad is supporting you, why would it matter?

Good Luck!

Post # 6
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@CarolinaPeach13:  I’m really sorry. If I found out my bf was going to propose NEXT month and decided to push it back at least 6..I’d probably cry.

I think the best thing to do is try to remind yourself that if you’re going to get married, and be together forever, 6 months won’t matter! When you’re 90 and have been married for 65 years, you won’t be sad about the 6 months you postponed your engagement, but you might be remembering fondly those 6 months you spent at a (possibly) life changing internship that helped mold your future career and self!

I do get it though. We set up a timeline, and bf was supposed to buy a ring this August..we actually had visited venues and were planning a May 2014 wedding. Well halfway into September I was wondering what the hell was going on. Turns out he wanted to save a little bit more money. Then we started looking into rings.. changed our minds.. now it is the middle of November and we are barely about to have my custom setting made! I’ll probably have a near-Christmas proposal, which I have ALWAYS been against. Now we are thinking of moving the wedding to 2015 or else fall of 2014(I really want a spring wedding though..) But when all is said and done, I’m going to be SO excited to be engaged to and marry my soul matey.

Post # 8
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

@CarolinaPeach13:  OK I can relate to you so I hope this helps! So I was expecting a Birthday proposal in June. Then SOs brother proposed to his GF a few days before my birthday which pushed my proposal (my SO finally admitted to my best friend he thought it would look like an afterthought because we have been together longer). I was devastated my SO told me I was being irrational. But I knew I wasn’t so I didn’t apologize once for feeling let down(but I also didn’t throw it in his face, if I was having a sad day I was having a sad day). Honestly I’m happy I did, SO finally came around and saw where I was coming from but it wasn’t easy getting to that point.

I don’t think you over reacting one bit. But your internship sounds like an amazing opportunity I would def just wait it out I had to wait another 6 months (hopefully i get my ring on vaca next week!) It really does fly by! you can do it! Keep yourself busy buy tickets to a concert, show plan anything to have little land marks to look forward to! it really helps! 

Good luck with your new internship!

Post # 9
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@CarolinaPeach13:  It DEFINITELY sucks. Being rational doesn’t necessarily help, I know 🙁 There were times when I took a lack of movement as a sign he didn’t actually want to marry me anymore. When I brought it up with the boyf, he was shocked and alarmed. He really didn’t think it would be that big of a deal to push it back a couple of months, especially since it would mean buying me a nicer ring. It didn’t even occur to him that I’d start doubting his intentions when he didn’t, you know, pull through with what he’d said! I’m sure your boyfriend is still as serious about proposing and getting married. You should try and convince yourself that him wanting to push it back is a sign of that..He wants your dad, and you, and everyone else to fully support it when it happens and not have anyone be able to say you’re too young, not ready, etc!

Post # 10
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

@CarolinaPeach13:  I saw your responce to @jessicadarling:  Girl cry your eyes out I did at a bar when I found out (My SO thought it would be a good idea to break the news while i was drunk) im not proud of it but he brought that apon himself

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