(Closed) feeling depressed..embarassed..ugh

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If I were you, I would have left and not came back. I would also be quite mad that my FI didn’t say anything.

Post # 4
Member
624 posts
Busy bee

Your feelings are your feelings…own them.  I’m glad you had the balls to do that, my jaw would still be on the floor.

I would find that rude as well but now you know things don’t exactly stay with who you tell so I would be careful of who you spill the beans to now.

Post # 5
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow I would have left the BBQ and uninvited the grandmother from the wedding. She was being RUDE and there is absolutely NO excuse for your FI not to back you up! Is he still a “child” when around his family? I have a BF like that once and I had to toss him after a few years. My FI stands up for me no matter what. We are a united front.

I’m sorry this happened to you. What a horrible family!

 

EDIT: “Child” as in he won’t stand up for himself or anyone else when one of the “Adults” decides to scold someone. Not “child” as he expects his food to be cut for him. I put the quotes around child too because it isn’t a put down, but rather how he reacts passive when confronted by his family.

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

WoW!!! Boy was his grandmother RUDE!!! I don’t think I could have done any better!!  I am Sooo sorry:(   It was good that you apologized later, (and I certainly think that she should have apologized to you) If his family  just says anything to anybody like that, then they should have to suck it up when someone calls them on it IMO.  I hope your FI stuck up for you.  I would have asked FI to bring me home immediately!!!  I think if there is any more family drama over it your FI should say something to his family members in your behalf. 

Post # 7
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Don’t feel bad. I hate when situations like this crop up and just because the offender is over the age of 60 everyone is just supposed to respect everything they do and say. Rude is rude and your FI’s grandmother is not exempt from this rule.

Your FI should have jumped in before it escalated the way it did. And maybe he will next time, everyone makes mistakes.

Post # 8
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

that sounds like it was an ugly situation for everyone…..you, being embarrassed by what was said, and maybe she, for regretting saying it after it was done.  I’ve had remarks made to me before like that.  All you can you do is ignore it, or use it as motivation to prove her rude self wrong!  Im sorry that you had to go through that though  (HUGS))

Post # 9
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m more mad at your FI than the crazy, rude, insensitive grandmother and aunt. They are both nuts, but the fact that he didn’t say anything, defend you, etc. worries me. Will he ever stand up for you in the future? Doesn’t sound good… What did he argue with you about? Why didn’t he defend you? Did he defend them?? Did he admit what they did was horrible?

How long have you two been together? How many times have you been around his family before?

So sorry!!!

Post # 10
Member
229 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Unbelievable! I have never heard of something so rude and ridiciously inappropriate! As far as I’m concerned, the grandma and the rest of the family should be apologizing to YOU for treating you with such disrespect! How rude that they would even think of treating you in such a manner. You are not a child a definitely do not need to be scolded by some aunt!

Also, I would have a talk with you fiance because he should of handled this situation much differently.

Post # 12
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Ugh that’s awful. I can’t believe you were the one who ended up apologizing. My sister has been on Weight Watchers for some time now (the whole family knows) and she’s had both success and setbacks. I know she feels like she’s constantly being watched like a hawk when she eats around certain people and like they’re judging every bite she eats. It’s really difficult to know she’s so uncomfortable around members of our family. FI should have stuck up for you. If someone comments about my sister or her husband around me I always mention how hard they work to lose the weight and everyone is entitled to a treat every now and then. I think older people sometimes lack “filter” especially when it has to do with weight, but I really don’t understand why. Maybe it’s a generation gap thing…

Post # 13
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No you have every right to have been upset, she was extremely rude. I hate the fact that, as others have mentioned, some people think older individuals can say and do things that others can’t just because they are older! His aunt was way out of line. And I would be pissed if my fiance just stood there and let me be berated for standing up for myself when one of his family members said something so rude. I wouldn’t have come back or apologized. The only people that needed to apologize were his aunt and granny.

Post # 15
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

@mareem: I come from a Jewish family and I totally get it! My grandmother is the worst offender because she has always been uncomfortable with her own weight so she projects it on everyone else. I am either too skinny or I have put on too much weight in her eyes (never mind I’ve always been in the same 15 pound range).

I honestly have no advice for how to handle it because I just keep my mouth shut when these comments come out. I don’t acknowledge the comment, I just choose to change the subject or quickly find someone else to talk to. Sorry you have to deal with this!

Post # 16
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What?! Even if she was “joking”, comments like that are never funny, but cruel and hurtful.

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