Feeling devastated by bridesmaids reaction

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@MsKaren:  heyyy take a breath. so maybe the third one’s disappointed. or hasn’t had time to formulate a good response yet.  2 out of 3 ain’t bad! 🙂 Even if she is so disappointed as to be mad at you, that’s a little off base for her. You don’t owe her your wedding. It’s YOUR wedding. I think it’s lovely what you plan on doing. It sounds like you’ve been under stress with this decision and the divorce stuff. Don’t worry about this third bridesmaid- she will get over it!  Maybe you can have a bachelorette party together or something still, the shower or something. But again it’s your wedding and your decision, and her being so upset (if she even is) would be uncalled for.

now go back to thinking about your month long honey moon!!!!

Post # 4
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Please don’t cry over this! Someone is being selfish, it’s NOT about your bridesmaids, it’s about you. Don’t let someone else’s disappointment over a day that isn’t even about her, make you feel bad.

Post # 6
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MsKaren:  Whoooaaa.  You are NOT a bad person!!  This isn’t a situation where you had planned everything, everyone had purchased their dresses, shoes, ect, requested time off of work, and planned an entire weekend around you.  It sounds like you were very early in to the planning process and decided what would be best for you and your future HUSBAND!  I understand a BM being a little disappointed, but she should be happy for you!  You didn’t make a promise you couldn’t keep.  You’re about to promise yourself to your fiance for the rest of your lives.  That is so much more important!!!

I would give her time to cool off or whatever she needs to do.  She will come around.  Don’t let this be a burden on your planning process, and especially not your wedding day!!

Post # 7
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsKaren:  You didn’t make them any promises, you asked them to do something nice for you, and then you decided you were going to go down a different path. You didn’t do anything except decide what is right for you!! 

Post # 8
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MsKaren:  She is being totally selfish your aloud to elope if you want to… It’s about your love your promises your moment in time as a couple defineing you as a pair…

it does not matter who stands witness you can have random strangers its about what feels right in your heart

 

and hell yes you should have picked the dress not her if she did that wanst for you it was for her … 

 

maybe suggest that she can plan a rexpetion party for the night after you get home… or a week or so after what ever… 

take lots of photos in ur white dress (maybe not a traditinal gown but a white dress lil head band or flowers or something) do a shot in each main visual attartion you go to in different cities (like one or 2 each city of you 2) ending with one of someone shooting u slide on ur rings and kiss signing papers sharing a cupcake 

you can do a slide show sharing the big day … they plan the dinner with out u have it at a resturant nothing to formal … or if u have family with a big house maybe there 

you can let her wear her dress witch means more to her to her then your happiness … and you can already have had ur no stress yay wedding day and then if ur rents fight or get drunk it wont matter so much .. cuz this day is about ur cousin lol no no this day is about u sharing that day with these ppl 

 

i also think u would have fun showing off the photos 

Post # 10
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MsKaren:  Sweetie, calm yourself.  This is so not worth getting this upset over. You don’t even know that she’s that upset! Even if she’s annoyed, she’ll get over it! No real damage has been done. Chin up!

Post # 11
Member
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Sounds like you are going to have an amazing happy wedding! How exciting! 

This isn’t about her, it’s not her wedding. She is obviously just a little bit upset, leave her be for a little while, I’m sure she will come around 🙂

Post # 12
Member
956 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I read your first post but have only skimmed through the rest so apologies if I repeat something that’s already been said!

Please don’t feel bad – she may have other reasons for not replying (work? family?) but if she is stropping then she shouldn’t be. She is your friend first, and (was) your bridesmaid second – I hope she remembers that’s the way round it should be…

Post # 13
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsKaren:  I think you are over reacting. Did you actually ask her a question in your message? Maybe she just read the information, thought “oh well” and went on with her day. Why is it a big deal?

Also, since you have only 3 bridesmaids why didn’t you just call them? A text message is pretty impersonal. If you are really as close as you say you should just have an actual conversation with this girl instead of texting her.

Post # 15
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MsKaren:  Hugs alot of people lash out when they are jealous … if she isn’ married yet it might be as simple as she wishes it was her …if she is maybe she dreamed of going on that kind of trip her self … maybe its both maybe she is a lil green eyed your getting married now on top of that you get a trip of a life time and the chance to share it with him thats pretty freaking amazing if you ask me 

 

you will have a wonderful time it totally speaks volumes of her … i mean does she expect u to go to you SO no no no thats your dream but this is our wedding the celebration with everyone seeing me getting married to you is more then ur happiness 

 

you are doing whats right for you 2 …. 

 

you can till cut a cake my cousin did a destination wedding in mexico with 65 of his closest friends and family (sounds like alot but i am up to 57 just with close family lol so it was a small crowd of friends)

 

and then they had a nice new rec centers big room (it was nice and new over looked the water but very mininal to rent) …. he got a projecter witch i think came with the room cause they use it for classes sometimes … and did a slide show 

 

he had cake and hired a dj and everyone who came hom brought booze duty free so we stalked the bar… he decorated with paper launters they were like 100 dollars …it looked really nice i nto sure if thye had to rent the tables and chairs or not … but the cake and the drinks and the slide show was great

 

you can have a buffet or rent a food truck and have them feed u its a bit cheaper (here anyways) or you can just put out a load of snacks and do more cocktail style 

 

but you could still do a lil something at hom,e to share ur wondrful trip or rather then save the dates have … it was our date and send out post cards with a photo of you to getting married to the ppl wh u woud have invited 

 

but 

Post # 16
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MsKaren:  Yes I think you should definitely talk to her by phone. There’s nothing wrong with your decision, but she’s obviously disappointed. I’m guessing she’s just taking time to digest it. But it’s not too late to talk to her now. I suggest you phone her and clear the air.

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