(Closed) Feeling Down

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I know the feeling! I’m glad you have been able to work through it rather than jumping the gun with someone who wasn’t right for you. I don’t think 14 months is too soon to have a conversation about what he thinks about marriage and if he could see himself marrying you at some point in the future. 

Post # 4
Member
870 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Snuggle:  Hugs!!! You are NOT a loser!  You are a precious, beautiful soul.  I know it can be so hard to see everyone around get engaged or married, but hang in there! You have a bf and I’m sure he loves you!

Post # 5
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would advise against using Teen Mom as a model for your relationships. Just sayin’

Post # 7
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Snuggle:  Hey, I’m 37 years old, and about to be proposed to for the first time lol I also walked/was dumped from relationships that were leading nowhere, and I worked and studied in a lots of different places, so it didn’t help. 

It is true when they say everybody have their own path and timeline. My mom told me that I went out with all kinds of guys too young or wrong for me because I am the one who wasn’t ready to settle down, even if I denied it at the time (she is right, I went to work in the Arctic and I have two university degrees… and would not have given up any of those things!) But at the time, I was driving myself nuts trying to understand why it never worked out with the guys I was dating, and thinking I really wanted to settle down. (I’m not saying you don’t want to settle down! Just saying that life happens and there is nothing wrong with doing things in your own time).

But now, I have a stable job, and I met the most amazing guy, so I am soooo grateful I was not married or had a kid with any of the other guys!!! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Oh man dont watch Teen Mom 2 it will ruin your life!! LOL. 

 

I know how you feel! All my friends and family are marred or engaged and Im the last one left, and practically the oldest! its tough, hang in there!! We can be there for each other, and it helps to know we’re not alone!!

Post # 9
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

BTW, I have been with mine 14 months too! Have you guys talked about marriage yet? Not pushing, but it doesn’t hurt to bring it up with him if you’re ready…you’re at an age where you’re not too young at all to be discussing it. I don’t think its putting too much pressure on him to just find out if his goals are the same as yours. I brought it up within 9 months of dating, just because I had to know where this was headed- I have been strung along in relationships before and I wasn’t going to make the same mistakes again! 

Post # 12
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

*hugs* I can relate to this. I’ll be 30 in January and I’m starting over as a single girl, after leaving a LTR where he was unwilling to commit. It sucks to see ppl easily get the ring and proposals, when you’ve never had a genuine proposal before (I watch teen mom too ) It kinda makes you feel like the broken toy, but I haven’t given up that it will happen one day and you shouldn’t either. I know ppl say we all have our paths, but it doesn’t soften the blow any less when you’re older and a wee bit impatient now.

I don’t know how old your guy is but engagement after a year of dating is reasonable when you’re in the late 20s-30s range, especially if you plan to have children. Just from studies I’ve seen a man is marriage ready by 28. The average male knows after a year of dating if you’re the one he wants permanently.

I wouldn’t date longer than 2yrs without engagement. Us gals don’t have alot of time to waist. Unless there’s a financial hold up on his end it shouldn’t take very long to move things forward 

Post # 13
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

@Snuggle:  I am in the exact same boat…it has been discussed and he’s “saving”…but I am terrified it wont happen because of the stuff I have went through in the past too. And little things that come up, like unexpected costs- and I think “well, guess I wont be getting a ring anytime soon” and get very discouraged. You’re not alone! I struggle with feeling I am not good enough every day. 🙁

I think at this point its important to focus on yourself, at least that is what I am trying to do (easier said than done!). Like I am trying to exercize daily , eat and be healthier. I also try alittle more each day at my over-all apearance, so I can feel pretty for me, not pretty for him if that makes sense, lol.  Just trying to rid bad habits and be a better person. I am still giving him what he needs from the relationship but also focusing on me and what I like to do. That is helping, a little.

 

I am honeslty thinking about seeing a therapist…LOL, I am probably the LEAST encouraging person to respond to this…guess I just want you to know that you’re not alone 🙂

Post # 16
Member
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Glen Sanders Mansion

@Snuggle:   A girl I know got a card from her mom when she was feeling down, and her mom wrote the most perfect message in a situation like this: “To truly enjoy your life, you must stop comparing yourself to others and start being thankful for who you are.” Remind yourself of this when you start comparing yourself to those around you! I felt the same way for a while, and was really feeling down about a lot of things. As soon as I started feeling thankful for what I have and who I am, things in my life (career, relationships, etc) starting falling into place.  Hang in there!  xo

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