Post # 1
I posted earlier today with some pictures of pregnancy tests I’ve taken in the past 24+ hours. I’ve finally made it through the inital shock and have allowed it to set in that I am actually pregnant. I know this is supposed to be a happy time but right now I can’t help but feel a little down. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way for us…we just got engaged recently and have been planning a May 2014 wedding. We were definitely not TTC. I am supposed to be going wedding dress shopping with my mom on Saturday and I don’t want to tell her about the pregnancy yet, yet I know I’m probably going to act weird and possibly break down crying at some point. I go back and forth between feeling sad and feeling super happy and excited. I know a baby is such a blessing and FI and I were definitely planning on TTC as soon as we got married but now obviously those plans have changed. I just feel sad that I’m probably not going to get to have the dream wedding I was planning, or have a crazy bachelorette party like I always imagined. And what will I do, have a baby shower/bridal shower? I want a baby so much and I know how fortunate I am that this happened, but I just wish the timing had been a bit better. Anyways, I guess I’m just looking for support/advice. This community is so wonderful and I didn’t know where else to turn.
Thanks for reading!
Post # 3
If it makes you feel any better..my fi and I waited til our son was two to start planning the wedding, he will be three when we get married this summer… I look way better than I did pre-pregnancy (weigh 20 lbs less)…our relationship never been stronger and our son is going to be THE cutest and most charismatic best man ever. Everything happens for a reason and parenthood is the BEST! Everything takes time, just give it time to sink in. It’s a shocking revelation! Congratulations!
Post # 4
Could you postpone the wedding date? My friends got married about 5 months after their daughter’s birth and still got to do everything – wedding shower, bachelor/bachelorette (on seperate weekends). It’ll be the best of both worlds =)
Post # 5
I would move the date either back or forward. FI and I aren’t TTC, but we had a scare in which I told him if we were I would want to move the date forward so I wouldn’t have been so far along. I also think moving the date back is a good option because it will give you time to have the baby, adjust, and then plan. Third is always getting married on original date or sooner but having the wedding or celebration after baby.
Whatever you decide, congrats on both the baby and the marriage! I know it isn’t the most ideal time but still such a happy occasion to have a baby with the love of your life.
Post # 6
My husband and I were engaged May of 2012, planning a January 2014 wedding.. well this past Feb we found out we were pregnant.
Honestly, I felt the same as you.. I would laugh and cry.. and be happy, upset, scared, mad! lol I’m very much into planning, and had a specific vision for our wedding day…and this little beutiful and amazing ball of cells threw a kink in our chain!
We ended up eloping on the beach in March, just the two of us.. I still wore a gown, he wore a tux, we had a photographer… and we had the BEST day ever! I had a little morning sickness on our honeymoon… lol but what can you do?
We are both so happy and over the moon now, that we wouldn’t change a thing!
Give yourself a couple days/weeks to digest this new information.. maybe postpone wedding dress shopping for a couple days and enjoy the time before your morning sickness starts! lol jk 🙂 But really, give yourself time to think and plan your next step. You don’t have to decide today 🙂
Post # 7
@spicyshimmer: Oh sweetie I’m in the exact same place. Our wedding is planned for April 15th (engaged since November) and what do you know, I’m 5.5 weeks pregnant! I go back and forth between excitement and uncertainty. I still want my day, my bachelorette party, to be able to be carefree and have fun with my friends at my wedding (read: drink). We decided that we will still have the wedding after the baby is born, it might be scaled back a bit, but it might not. We’re working on the logistics. And we will likely get legally married sometime this year before the baby is born just for insurance/paperwork sake. Today is the first day I feel like this pregnancy is the most amazing blessing. When you feel that, nothing else will matter. The wedding will happen and it will be wonderful, I’m sure. But this baby… this is incredible.
Post # 8
@kaleidoscopicmind: @MrsDe2013: @carebee:
Thanks so much for responding, ladies. I’m feeling a bit better today in general and it also makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one that this kind of thing has happened to. FI and I talked last night and are thinking maybe we will get married, just the two of us, sometime this summer and then still proceed with our wedding in May. I called and made my first prenatal appointment this morning and they gave me a due date of February 12. That would mean I’d have a teeny bit over 3 months to prepare for the wedding post-baby. Is that crazy to think it’s doable?
@Mewithoutyou: ahh morning sickness. One of my biggest fears right now. I do public speaking regularly for my job and so the possibility of me getting sick while I’m up in front of a bunch of people is terrifying! Maybe I’ll be one of those lucky women who don’t get morning sickness. 😉
Post # 9
@jny1179: Thank you for sharing! It really makes me feel so much better. It sounds like you guys have a similar plan to what my FI and I are thinking of doing–getting legally married soon and then still proceeding with the wedding. How long will you have between when the baby arrives and the wedding? Have you told your families yet? I’m not particularly close with my mom so right now that’s the biggest obstacle I see to me feeling better about all this. I’m so glad to hear you are feeling positive today about the pregnancy. I know I’ll get there, too!
Post # 10
@spicyshimmer: We have told our immediate families and they are very excited. Right now we have a little under 3 months between due date and wedding. I’m considering pushing it back to the fall but not sure yet. I’m sorry your relationship with your mom is a struggle. I hope that things get better for you soon!! It’s really nice to have someone that is in the same boat. Feel free to message me anytime!!