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@miss-spunkin: I didn't experience this with CD because we decided not to do it (although I think it's wonderful, I just personally couldn't do it). However, even though I'm not that far along and it's way in the future, we've experienced this with people when we say we'll make our own baby food when it comes to that point. We've gotten a few "We'll see how long that lasts!" and one person saying "Why would you do that?"
I realize we're doing things a little differently than the people we personally know but it doesn't bother me anymore since I know it's the right decision for us to at least try it.
@mandb122: Yeah, I got that a lot when I first got pregnant when people asked me about getting a crib and I said I wasn't getting one since we'd be co-bedding/sleeping (just having a bassinet/play pen next to our bed) - and everyone started sharing horror stories about cosleeping. REALLY?! why do people do that! I have gotten a lot of criticism for my wide array of attachment parenting/natural childcare choices.
I am sorry that happened.
I've just started letting people know that we are CD and have had mixed reactions.
For me I have noticed young people are really excited and older people think I'm 'nuts' and may laugh about it. If it is an older person, you can emphasize that it is a very popular choice for this generation of Moms and that cloth diapers have really come a long way. Mentioning that is is a really common choice for a lot of the new Moms these days (really: look how many bees are using CDs!).
I find that if I explain the difference based on a 'generation' thing, then they understand. Same goes for 'finding out the gender'. 'Their' generation didn't find out, but 'ours' is.
Oh, whatever. I called my husband "honey" at Thanksgiving and everyone started saying "Oh haha, she still calls her husband honey, that wont' last long!" I just smiled, ok!
I made all my daughter's baby food, people said "You'll be giving her jarred in no time!" nope, I didn't.
Washing diapers yeah, it's a pain, but at least you're trying. You have to get used to these comments as a new mom. I think sometimes people think "She thinks she has it all figured out, just wait!" and in some ways it's true, new moms do often have a lot of preconceived ideals they swear by before they have children, and they have to go through trial and error to figure out what's actually going to work. But that's your journey to make, it's part of the experience.
I had the same reaction when I told people I was going to give birth drug free, but I did it. Same reaction about breast-feeding, still doing it. Same reaction to CDing, still doing it. Ignore the nay-sayers.
We got laughed at in our birthing class of all places when we voiced our choice for cloth. We ended up not doing it for daycare reasons but I have several friends who have gone the cloth route and it really isn't that big of a deal! Cloth diapers have come soooo far since we were babies (my Mom cloth diapered me and all my siblings).
People suck...don't let them affect whatever decisions are right for your family...lots of us get that same remark...my son is 15 mos & we stil CD...of course we do use sposies sometimes, too, but I don't really take crap (ha!) from anyone about it. I'm all...oh, you want to increase the likelihood of your kid getting asthma, infertility, etc.? Oh, good for YOU.
Yeah, I know how you feel. Even my mom, who is the most liberal progressive hippie person who I know thinks were kind of nutso for cloth diapering. She told me that we're going to have way more issues with diaper rash. (Obviously she has no idea what she's talking about b/c the statistics show just the opposite, as long as we use a gentle laundry detergent.) Us cloth diaper ladies just have to band together to show the rest of the world that it's possible. The way I see it, you're going to be doing plenty of laundry anyways, so what's one extra load every few days?
I think it's sad when people do that "oh you're going to try something new/you're excited about this stage of your life??!?!?!?! That won't last long!!!"
Can you imagine if you got an admission letter to a college and everyone was like "pffff!! College! That won't last!" or "hey you're married? See how long it takes before you can't stand it!"
Just such a weird freaking thing to say. I get a lot of comments about home birth, breast feeding, making my own food, CDing but honestly we are SOOO broke we have no choice haha. To each his own. A very sweet girl I work with said to me "When someone says something negative about something nice in your life, it indicates to me something that they feel they're missing in theirs" which is a good point. Just do what you want and who cares how they diapered their kids? You deserve to find out on your own in your own way what the best option is for your family.
I am sorry you are feeling down! Your family should try to be more supportive and I would hope that in time, they will see you are serious. You are making a good decision for yourself and your baby, and something that you out a lot of thought into! Good for you and I hope in the future your family comes along!
@cannotwait: Yeah, have to admit I was tempted to lecture them on all the reasons sposies are not economical, ecological, or even healthy- yeah that stuff that causes TSS in tampons? It's in your kids diapers! But it wasn't really the time or place to bring it up. I have to remind myself this is MY family now, my baby is MY responsibility, and I have to be confident in how I choose to parent my child.
@skibobrown: Yeah, I really don't see it as THAT much extra work honestly. And never has the idea of diapering a baby been so FUN, I'm not even kidding, I am loving building my diaper stash!
@Moja Milosc: bahahaha how true is that!! I dunno, just seems that anyone who is a mom seems to think they know everything about being a mom and predicting how everyone elses motherhood journey will be.
@kerensa: Thank you! thankfully my mother and my sister are in full support (my sis CD's too!), so at least the people I'm closest to support me and that is really helpful. These people are my mom's cousins (it's like an aunt relationship) that I don't see too often.
When our Moms and some of us were born, there were NO options for diapering, so everyone used cloth diapers. Its nothing new, but there have certainly been many stories about how so many had to be thrown away,smelly diaper pails and wicked rashes from the rubber pants that had to be used over them. Why else do you think people poo poo it? Disposable diapers were like a miracle product for many of us, so for anyone to want to revert back to the 'old days' will almost always cause some comments.
You'll have to grow a thicker skin, since you're bound to hear many more pearls of wisdom from the older generation along the way. Do it your way and be happy with your decision. You aren't the first nor will you be the last to be treated like you know nothing. We've all been there. :)
I got the same reaction at my baby shower today about both cloth diapering and natural birth. They were all telling me how there was no way I could do either and a bunch of stuff. I just kept my head down and smiled and didn't say anything. My mom still doesn't get that cloth diapers aren't white squares and diaper pins anymore.
It is really annoying though.
@smyley: LOL obviously by this thread, no mother can win. Gave your kid disposable diapers? YOU'RE POISONING THEM!
Trying cloth diapers? PEOPLE ARE JUDGING YOU!
That's why I share as little info with people as possible pertaining to my parenting choices. It's a two way street moms, don't smack down other people's choices, don't feel the need to defend your own.
@zippylef: sorry hon :( yeah not fun.. I'm sure I'm going to end up getting diaper rash cream from many well-meaning people lol or other products I won't end up using at all..
Post in the babies thread about your shower, I wanna hear about it!
Do what works best for you and your family. People will always criticize your decisions, some people are so judgmental! Good luck with cloth diapering. Im hoping to CD when we have a baby.
I got all that too when I told my friends and family. It got to the point where I stopped telling people or saying anything about it- I got tired of all the negative feedback. We've been cloth diapering for two months now and (even I was nervous about how the washing was going to go) and let me tell ya. It. Is. EASY. PEASY. so no worries there. and all those folks that made the EWWWW and WHAAAA face are now asking me all about it and are curious and not giving me any grief. :) Feel good about your decision.
Meh, we got similar reactions about doing EC; at the time, I just ignored their criticism, but I made sure to brag a lot and really bring it to people's atention when Addie was potty trained before 18 months. :) Forgt about their comments for now. You're making a great decision by CD'ing, and if you're committed to it, ikt's not going to be difficult for you to follow through.
I am sorry that happened!! I didn't have those comments from close family or friends, but I do think many of them thought that. I have recieved a TON of comments about how when we decide to have a second child I won't keep up cloth diapering, making babyfood, my super clean house, etc etc...you name it, they've said. Just smile, say "okay" and then you can just go ahead and do it ;)
This is my standard phrase for anything said that annoys me about our choices: How about, I raise my child the way I see fit, and you can raise your children the way you see fit? I find that actully shuts people up pretty quickly. It might also help that I am an NICU nurse, so I don't get the "you have no idea what you are getting into" comments.
If it makes you feel any better, I have a ton of friends who are horrified when I say I am doing disposables. 'OMG!!! How could you???? You are poisoning your baby, they are so expensive, save the planet, blah blah blah.'
It is really annoying, but I am ignoring the naysayers. Make the right choice for you because you are the one who has to live with it.
I got this too, from the young and old. I ignored them. almost 4 months in we are still going strong. She wears disposables at daycare, but that's it. Not at home with me!
@Ms Mini: haha true :) I don't know why people don't treat me like that, I've been a nanny for half my life (in NY: read "second mother"), it's not like I don't know what I'm getting into!
@plantains: My gosh! Why is everyone SO opinionated, when it comes to anyone's kids! seriously... I'm sorry :( I would NEVER say that to someone using sposies, CDing is a lot of work and esp for working moms it's hard too - but just as with every other decision, it's your child - your choice!
@MsMamaBear: good! glad to hear it!!! I actually don't know anyone personally who has "given up", especially for the sole reason of not wanting to do laundry!
theres a really good blog post on www.younghouselove.com regarding this topic. Sherry and John used cloth diapers on little Clara and to hear them tell it, it seems pretty easy. Check it out :)
I just want to say that cloth diapering is NOT a lot of work! Or at least it doesn't have to be. I do two extra loads of cloth diapers each week, but that's it. I work 45 hours a week, DH works the same, and we travel to one of our parents' homes almost every weekend. DS is in cloth the whole time, including at day care.
You have to make the right decision for you. We cloth diaper, but use sposies now and then - usually when he gets diaper rash (antibiotics are a clother diaper mama's nightmare). We breastfed until my supply tanked (7 months) and now he's on formula. We co-slept a bit, but now he's in his crib and sleeps through the night, as do DH and I. I don't leave him with anyone except for daycare when I have to.
I had a lot of comments about everything I planned on doing and still get them now and then (especially about the cloth diapers and not leaving him with people to "go out". If you've made the decision to cloth diaper stick to it! Don't let someone make you feel like you aren't making the right decisions. You are!
Exactly! A few extra loads of laundry won't hurt anyone...especially if it saves you money! Money saving was the main reason I chose it.
@mrstilly: I wish I lived in NY no daycares around here take cloth. I still save since the daycare diapers last forever with not using them like if we used them at home.
You'll do fine, I hate the laundry and I get cloth diapers washed no problem.
If your husband is on board it will make things a lot easier. My husband was very pro cloth diaper and we started using prefolds within a couple days, I probably would have been too tried to deal with it but once he got the ball rolling I was like this is easy.
Cloth diapering is still only done by minority of moms so its natural and even expected that people will scoff, laugh or speak negatively about it. You just have to prove them wrong.
@MsMamaBear: have you checked this website? they update it constantly with "cloth-friendly" daycares.
@mrstilly: yeah, the first time I said to someone that I would be cosleeping, they went into how unsafe it is and all that... and I've had soo many people proceed to tell me horror stories about babies dying.
Oh, and have you tried a cloth-safe diaper ointment? You can find them on a lot of CD retailers sites. I also have a friend who uses Eden Salve from the Bulk Herb store and said it works like magic! My sister used it on her son's bottom as well.
and yes, I do believe CDing is the right choice for me! I feel so many convictions about it. I'm really excited to do it too! I can't wait to start. It just sucks getting discrimination from anyone who hears about my choice(s).
@troubled: he is! I was so surprised, he is just as into it as I am. I know he'll be helping a lot, even with the laundry. I feel so blessed!
My mom cloth-diapered me and my siblings. She got really lucky though because a family member gifted her with a year's subscription to a 'cloth diaper laundry service' for each kid. I'm not even sure if those are still around, but from what I understand it meant she barely had to wash any of the diapers.
This thread has gotten me into a 1.5 to 2 hour research session of cloth diapers....and I'm definitely interested! DH will be a very tough sell (as he cannot even change a disposable poopy diaper) but I'm sure I will convince him, lol.
Everyone is going to have their own opinion, but you need to do what you want to!
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We had an extended family Christmas get-together today. One of the "white elephant" gifts my mom's cousin got was diaper rash cream, and she tried pawning it off on my sister or I, but I told her it wouldn't work for our cloth diapers (you have to use water-soluble solutions). She and my mom's other cousin proceeded to laugh and basically started treating me like such an inexperienced first-time-mom, "yeah, we'll see how long THAT lasts!" they said, "You'll last maybe two weeks washing diapers!" etc etc and laughing/making jokes for at least ten minutes. I felt so defeated for my decision!
I mean it stemmed initially from cost, an investmet of $300 vs $1500+ sposies. But as I learned about the health benefits (what chemicals are used in sposes), I found more and more reasons to embrace CD's!
Anyway just feeling really down :( It's the first time my decision was actually bashed and deemed as silly and me, inexperienced.
Did any other CD'ing moms face this from family/friends?