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Feeling down about my ring

posted 5 months ago in Rings
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    1.
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    177 posts
    Blushing bee
    sconzzy    December 29, 2011  

    Im getting married this week and so all the family havd arrived, i was the first to get engaged and loved my 0.2 ct ring then. But since then my brother got engaged and my cousin and yesterday they were comparing rings and both are over a caret, even my mum suddenly got a new really big ring this year and they were all showing off. My brother than looked at me and said, well how big is yours, i was so embarrased, i love my ring but next to theirs it felt like a trinket. 

    I still think my ring has a nicer setting and some of their diamond are big but dull, but it still made me feel really down, also i dont want them to think my fi cant afford more because he easily could and he earns much morethan my cousins fi.

    Just feeling a bit down thats all.

     
    2.
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    Blushing bee
    hsaas91    August 5, 2015  

    It's so hard not to compare yourself with other people, it's human nature. One of my best friends just got engaged, and I will be inheriting a family stone that is about half a carat, and hers is a full ct and it was hard not to compare, even though I LOVE the sentiment and look of the one I will get. 

    Just try to take time to remember that your love and your marriage and engagement is not less valid because they wanted to get a huge stone. 

    I personally think sometimes big stones don't suit the people wearing them. It's all very personal.

     
    3.
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    Bumble bee
    misskoala    July 23, 2011   married in Georgia/living in Portland, OR

    Don't feel down! I prefer smaller, sparkly diamonds over larger, dull diamonds. I'm sure your ring is gorgeous! It sounds like you have a better quality diamond which is more important than the size.

    And don't forget - the ring is a symbol of your engagement and love. :)

     
    4.
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    Buzzing bee
    love108    September 2014  

    @sconzzy: My dad always told me when I was little. The neighbors and your friends families, they might have boats and summer houses and big screen tvs, it doesn't mean we make less money. We have more in savings for a rainy day. It means we have no credit card debt, we aren't living pay check to pay check, and it wasn't until I was older that I realized that as fun as all those things would be, I'd rather know I had financial stability. So I know how it feels, to see all these big rings and wish you had something "better," but know that you probably have something better than they have.. it just isn't in your face like a giant diamond :)

     
    5.
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    Blushing bee
    sconzzy    December 29, 2011  

    Thanks for the nice comments, i know i love my ring.

     
    6.
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    348 posts
    Helper bee
    SunnyBunny    April 28, 2012   Knoxville, TN (wedding in MO)

     I started feeling bad about mine a little while after I got it. I thought it was absolutely perfect and knew I wanted a pearl with tiny diamonds until I started showing people and they didn't respond like I had anticipated and I felt like I had to defend myself because it's such a cheap ring, but it's what I wanted. Just keep remembering it's from the person who loves you and cares about you. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone on that!

     
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    Newbee
    Lani808    November 3, 2012   Honolulu, HI

    My fiances family has $ and made comments how he couldve done better, my fiances grandmother seems to be the only one on his side that loves my ring.  During a family event  she told everyone that the original ring she got was less that $200 and its still her favorite piece, although she no longer uses it she keeps it in her safe and request to be burried with it on when she goes.  Her late husband was also burried with the original band.  She also shared that when she first got her ring, she was so upset because it didnt fit her (she was preggos and fingers swollen), and after all the other fancy rings her original ring still makes her smile.

    Smile because you have the perfect man for you and that your ring is a special piece of the day you said Yes.  I believe that after several decades when you look at your ring you'll feel giddy. 

    Have a Merry Xmas!!!

     
    8.
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    Busy bee
    FutureMrsCassar    May 4, 2013   Malta

    it's just a ring...What's important is your relationship!

     
    9.
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    Newbee
    SoontobeMrsGreen    December 12, 2012  

    don't think too much about the ring, just think you are getting married with this man that you love so much!

     
    10.
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    Blushing bee
    Marcie2222    March 18, 2013   Oregon

    Aww @Lani808 Thanks for sharing your story that is Amazing. Remember its not about the ring I know its hard to not compare but just remember size isnt important. The size of a ring isnt going to hold together a marriage its the meaning behind it.

     
    11.
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    6,485 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    I'm so sorry you feel badly about something that is obviously full of sentiment and meaning for you, I can see why this would happen but honestly, after you get married, no one cares at all about your ring and what really matters is your marriage...

    Also, I think this happens to many of us, regardless of what size our ring is because it is natural to compare ourselves and see where we 'fall short,' so to speak...I have a lovely ring that would be considered sizeable by many but in NYC, is on the smaller side and sometimes I have felt bad when I compare my ring to the 2 and 3+ carat stones I see all the time on the streets...

    So, I think the moral of the story is that you (and I) would rather have a happy marriage than a big ring and ultimately, that's what is truly important.  Rings can be lost, stolen or replaced but your relationship with your husband is forever.

    I hope you feel better after reading all the awesome words of encouragement from all these Bees...

     

    PS- If you show us a photo of your ring, I can guarantee we will all 'ooh and ahh' over it, that might make you feel better too! :)

     
    12.
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    Busy bee
    seahorsey    April 20, 2013   Indiana

    I second @trailmix, I want to see your ring! :) 

     
    13.
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    Blushing bee
    mammamia    February 1, 2011  

    @seahorsey:

    I third that! I am so curious to see the ring! 

     

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