Feeling down about small wedding budget

posted 3 years ago in September 2013
Post # 3
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mishy:  I’m just going to be honest in this response… £7k is not a tiny wedding budget. Maybe compared to some it is, but think of it in real dollars (in your case, pounds sterling!) and that’s quite a lot of money. No, you won’t be able to have jugglers or a carriage, but you WILL be able to be married. It may help to frame things in terms of “wants” and “needs,” and to figure out what jugglers, etc symbolize to you. It’s easy to buy into wedding hype and feel like you just HAVE to have this or that, but you really don’t have to.

My fiance and I are working with a budget less than HALF of yours, and we feel like it’s a lot of money. (Because it is.) Sure, there are times that I wish that I could afford a more luxurious dress or that we could rent out a dream venue, but we keep focusing on what we want our marriage, not our wedding, to look like. We are also very glad that we’re living below our means…even on our wedding day. And it’s still going to be a beautiful wedding — small and intimate, but lovely.

I think you will feel better about yourself and your wedding if you focus more on the positives than the things you can’t afford. How great is it that you’re marrying the love of your life? (Imagine marrying Mr. Wrong and having the money for jugglers and carriage — not so dreamy, is it?) And isn’t it good that you two are starting off NOT being in debt? I’m sure that you will be able to have a joyful, wonderful wedding with your budget. (Again, I’m super-excited about our wedding and we have almost half your budget…in NYC, which is the most expensive place to be married in the U.S.) Look for the positives!

 

Post # 4
Member
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mishy:  I should add that it may help to stop looking at wedding magazines. They almost only feature weddings with big budgets. If you feel like you need to live up to those, you’re going to find reasons to be disappointed.

Post # 6
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I know it’s hard when others seem to have everything you want, but that’s actually quite a lot to spend on a wedding.

You need to try to put this into perspective… would you really want to shell out more for a few hours of entertainment? It goes by so fast. Unless I was very wealthy, I would never want to sink money into something that lasts a few hours. It’s not realistic to spend a lot of $$ on something that takes away from much more important things.

At the end of the day, you’ll be married regardless of whether it cost $200 or $200,000. Same end result. No one cares about the wedding as much as you do, so I am sure guests don’t give a crap whether you spend an extra few grand, ultimately.

Stop comparing yourself to an unrealistic ideal. Take it for what it is.

I am sure you’ll have a lovely time and so will your guests. It really is about getting married.

Post # 7
Member
3271 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

OP, a wedding is a wedding. What makes it special is the two of you joining your lives, surrounded by friends and family. Pair that with good food, wine, and dancing, and it’s perfection.

I didn’t put my dreams aside for our budget, I just compromised and found a way to make it all work. Visit consignment stores and look for dresses there, scope out any non-profit vendors, find one or two things that you and your FI must have and build your wedding around that. For us, it was a good dj and professionally done flowers.

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