Feeling down after wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 5
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@balletbride:  I’m so sorry your day didn’t turn out like you hoped it would. It does seem like you missed out on savoring a lot of the special moments, which really sucks. Also, I’m so sorry to hear your mother was being so selfish!

My only advice would be to treasure the photos that you have, and to look back on the positive things, such as having so much fun dancing and having photos of you in your dress at all. I’m sure your guests understand. While it might have struck some as being rude, I’m sure they realize that it was your day, and getting caught up in the moment is allowed. <3 I wish I had any of the things you mentioned to begin with. I got married in front of my inlaw’s woodstove in their living room wearing one of my sister in law’s dress that had to be pinned in the back to stay up because it didn’t come close to fitting. I don’t say this to be bitter, I say this hopefully to encourage you and help you see how even though things didn’t turn out the way they should and the way you hoped they would go, it’s a blessing to have all of your loved ones there to celebrate and to have good pictures of your day— even if some of your family wasn’t cooperating the way they should have.

Post # 6
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@balletbride:  I’m so sorry 🙁 The late staff are inexcusable. 

I’m not married yet but this ‘blurring’ sounds common on the boards, probably as a result of nerves/stress/worrying about the details. Did you have a videographer?

Post # 8
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sorry to hear about your wedding……

I have spent the last several months coming to terms with my wedding…..

So many people were out of line (mom, dad, sibling, bridesmaid, wives of groomsman, uncles,cousins, etc) that I have a hard time looking back on the day. 

I spent months planning and stressing over a wedding that in the end I did not enjoy.  My relationships with several people have changed, and not for the better.

What I have decided to do is to have a wedding redo….. I am going to get the dress I wanted (the dress I wore was not my choice of dress), go to the venue I originally wanted, redo my vows and redo the pictures with just the DH……… then go to dinner with the DH….. the true vision of the wedding I wanted……..

Perhaps you can do something similar……..

Or maybe in a month or two you will feel better………

I wish you all the best………

Post # 9
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think it’s SUPER easy to feel bummed out after the wedding! We get a LOT of girls who come back after the wedding’s over and go “Nothing went horribly wrong, but I’m WILDLY unhappy about how the wedding went, and I don’t know why, and I feel awful!”

Post # 12
Member
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@balletbride:  I have not had my day yet but sadly, I fear your feelings are how I will feel in the future.  I get anxious about a lot of things in life, and I tend to replay normal situations over in my head 100 times so I am sure there will be moments from my wedding I will do this with also.

I am really sorry that you’re having these feelings but if you were dancing all night it sounds like it was a fun wedding! I am sure you will get the video back and memories will come rushing back.  

FI is REALLY not into our video either.  He was so against it but ended up giving in even to 2 cameramen 1 to follow him and 1 to follow me.  I REALLY hope he ends up feeling like your husband does, because right now he is SO uncomfortable with the idea.

Post # 13
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee

Did anyone take video of your day?  I would ask them to give you a copy so that you can watch it and get back some of that day!

Post # 14
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@balletbride:  I am glad you have the video. You may feel better when it arrives at it will hopefully capture the details that you missed (e.g. guest expressions, your bridesmaids, special moments that you did not realize that they were recording). We hired a videographer and I am so glad we did as it made up for the photos that did not capture everything I wanted.

Our day was a blur as well and it felt like I was having an outside body experience, I don’t remember eating anything, we were not able to speak to all of our guests either, so many dramas with the bridal party and family and we were both stressed and exhausted. At the end of the day we decided to enjoy how ever the day was going to turn out and just be happy we were together. After the wedding I analyzed every detail (the torrential rain that ruined my photo opportunities, things that were missed and how it could have been better, etc) but to be honest as time goes by, these feeling fade and we were able to compensate in other ways. We later decided to get dressed up and have our photos taken again in central park on sunny day with no stress, no rain and to just take our time. That day was fantastic. The only regret was our family and bridal party were overseas and could not take part but we felt better about having done this and had great photos for our album etc.

You could do a reshoot, get dressed up, take your time, address some of the things that you feel you missed etc., or you could do a vow renewal later on.

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

thank god i’m not the only one!!!!!  i have had the same secret thoughts as you but have shared them with NO ONE due the the expense of our wedding!!!! SUCH A RELIEF THAT MORE THAN ONE PERSON FEELS THIS WAY! i seriously thought that every single bride thought of her wedding as perfect and as the best day of her life. when i think back on my wedding i get a little sick to my stomach actually. although everyone had a good time, i personally feel tragic about it- the wasted money on leftover alcohol, the way i look in the photos, the early time that everyone left, my horrible wedding planner, not getting to spend quality time with anyone, the blur, the fight over watching a sports game i had with my husband that night. i just feel sick about it. maybe if it wasnt so expensive i wouldnt feel this way. thanks so much for sharing your experience. it really made me feel a lot better. 

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