Weddingbee boards

I have less than 2 months left before my wedding and I feel overwhelmed.  I still have to get a photographer, videographer, florist, and dj.  My mother has been helping as much as she can, she tends to get so stressed out about things I ask her to do that I get even more stressed.

On top of that, my MOH can't be there because she's so focused on work and school.  She lives two hours away, so I feel as though she can't be there for me physically or emotionally.  She barely answers my phone calls and I'm not sure if she even intends on throwing me a bachelorette party or bridal shower.  I think we've just drifted apart over the years and it saddens me that this has happened.

Since I've spent so much time with my FI over the years, I've neglected many relationships.  I don't have many friends I can really count on, only my fiance.  Of course, he's not the type who enjoys "planning" a wedding, like most guys.  He just shows up when I tell him we're meeting with a photographer, and he'll be there. 

I feel like I'm doing everything on my own and wish I had more support.

I have asked him to be more involved, but he just doesn't seem to be enthusiastic about it.  He just wants to show up when I book the appointment, make the decision, then leave (like we did in picking our venue and minister).

I just feel hurt because my MOH hasn't called me to help me with anything.  I call her all the time and she always seems too busy.  I think the only time we saw each other was when she helped me to find a wedding dress and another time when I helped her pick out her dress.  She almost didn't even want to meet when we were going to have her try on dresses because she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend (since they barely see each other).  I don't know if I should confront her about the problem or just have her show up at the wedding just cause I need someone to stand there.  Should I ask someone else that I know to take her place and ask her not to come or do you think I'm just too emotional right now and not thinking straight?

hmmmm, your MOH should be there for you; my MOH is my sis, she's a busy mom of 3 (2 kids below the age of 6) and yet she found time to shuttle me around to find ribbon in the suburbs; she came to Manhattan for my gown and her family helps me with all my projects; she and my BM (her kid) went gown finding for themselves; I feel so blessed my sister has always been there for me, even in my wedding

I think no matter how busy a MOH is, if they are really your MOH they should be there for you; can you really thank her from the bottom of your heart? 

I agree, delegate some of your responsibilities to your FI; I did everything on my own, my FI is in England, my bridal party is in the burbs; I had to be superorganized since I had only 5 months to plan and I'm working 3 weekends before my wedding 

I saved angst by being decisive and not second-guessing myself, if the price was right  even below it (I haggled) if it was what I was exactly looking for boom, I signed the deal within days; I networked like crazy and became super resourceful and thought outside the box  

vhere's my experience on my own:

venue--I looked at 7, found one I liked and had an aha moment I knew it was the One, haggled, I signed the deal within a week  

DJ--googled, found gigmaster website, didn't like any I interviewed didn't like their websites, how they worked or how they talked, networked with a  co-worker and she referred me to someone she knew and in my price; he felt like the One, I'll seal the deal when I come back from vacation 

photographer--I have a friend whose work I love; we negotiated; I signed the deal in 1 week of contacting him, I knew he was the One for my photography

flowers---I looked into flowers, nothing felt right, felt not right spending copious amounts of money for flowers I can do on my own, I bought vases and asked my grocer to order 100 roses at 0.65 each stem and will make 6 centerpieces (my wedding is only 6 tables for 50-72 people);I  made this decision within 3 weeks, it felt right

video--I placed an ad at craiglist for  $250, found an MTV producer, they went up, saw others cheaper but work was crappy, I kept going back ot their video, they came down, signed a deal yesterday at $700, they felt right I liked their work, they were the One, signed a deal within 3 weeks

shuttle--I inquired, everything was expensive, I walked down the street saw a white shuttle talked to the driver, he brought the price down, it felt right, was in my price range,  I signed the deal within a week of looking

gown-- I knew what I wanted, my mom and sis would only be town for this one time of gown hunting; saw 12, loved one; went to the second store, found what I lalways wanted, it was in my price range, bought it the first day

It's lonely planning alone, but it'll pay off 

hang in there fellow bride you can do it! look around, be decisive,  go with your gut; when it's crunch time you start to become more decisive

Do you think I should say something to my MOH?

well you may risk losing her forever as a friend if you remove her; maybe if you have a heart to heart talk let her know how you're feeling and see if she can help out more; even if she's busy that's what a MOH is there for, they have the honor to help, there's still time! see if she can do some research for videos or DJ's and e-mail you a list; if anything she should be emotionally supportive, I call my sis when I 'm stressed I can hear her baby crying so I hang up and end the convversation when she's occupied ; but she's still there even in my times of stress. 

for my bridal party and bachelorette party; I know my sis's time and abilities will not be able to extend to since she is far and cannot plan it here in the city; I'm organizing it myself in the city and just making the list and having her send out the invitations and recieve the regrets; that's what my friends said, even she's far she can still mail the invitations; wouldn't be right for me to invite them myself; I always wanted a bachelorette party, and I'm going to make it happen, no missing out for me!

good luck!