Feeling down, might have to push the wedding back

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think your grandmother would want you to push back your wedding date because of her passing. She wouldn’t want that to be part of her legacy.

I know losing a loved one is extremely difficult. There is a great chance that my grandmother will not live long enough to see me walk down the aisle. But, I know that if it happens, she would want me to be happy and she would want me to marry the man that I love when I want to marry him/on schedule.

 

Post # 4
Member
816 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. My DH and I planned a beautiful garden wedding in two weeks. Seriously! We ended up eloping because we planned it so quickly and didnt want to wait. Wedding planning is quick and painless if you are decisive.:) Best of luck!

Post # 5
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

What would your grandmother want? Do you think she would be happy knowing that you delayed your wedding 8 months away becasue she passed away? I would think my grandmother would be appauled by such a decision! I don’t see how you could be disrespectful… grandmothers have been in the hospital and still want their grandbaby’s to go on with the wedding as planned. 

I’ve seen people plan a wedding in 3 months, it was stressful but it can be done. Just list out things that need to be done and write beside them how far in advance they really need to be done – very few if any will likely be over 7 months in advance.

I think if anything this will be worse on your family as they don’t want you to delay it! It will be a chance for them to go out and celebrate, it could make them feel worse to pass your original wedding date with no wedding.

Post # 6
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If anything it would be disrespectful to your grandmother to not have the wedding – she wouldn’t want something like that on her memory. The only way I see you being disrespectful if the wedding was intentionally planned on the day before/after her funeral as if to steal her thunder, which it is not.

You should take this opportunity to plan her into the wedding. You can have a moment where you dedicate something to her, include her name on the invitation, incorporate something she loves or reminds you of her into it.

Some people can plan a wedding in a week and somehow pull it off if they have the cash to do so, don’t worry about only 7 months, that is much more time than some brides have!

Post # 8
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Don’t push it back. I planned most of my details in 7 months and even sooner. I’m sorry about the loss of your gramma.

Post # 9
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss… I think you should go ahead and get married. I think that it may actually lift everyone’s spirits to see the love and joy the two of you have. My dad passed a few years back and my uncle a few years prior to him. I added a moment of silence into the ceremony for them. Perhaps you can as well. I hope you all get through this difficult time and are able to celebrate her life and your wedding. Best of luck!

Post # 11
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Ayybety:  I think that you and your FI need to discuss this in depth and figure out what is best for the two of you. That might mean pushing back the wedding or it might be continuing with your current plan. . . or it might mean a compromise of sorts. For instance:

My Grandparents married in 1958. Two weeks before their wedding, my Grandpa’s father passed away. It was very sudden and unexpected. My Grandparents asked his mother if they should postpone the wedding and she told them not to. Her only request is that they not play music at the reception as a sign of respect.

My Grandparents went ahead with their wedding. To this day, they feel they made the right choice because his Dad wouldn’t have wanted them to put off starting their lives together. Grandpa only learned this recently, but apparently my Grandma’s only regret was not being able to dance with her father at her wedding.

I wouldn’t suggest the no dancing/music route. If you do try to find a compromise, then maybe you could do something like keeping your current date, but having a moment of silence / prayer in honor of your Grandma. Or you could have a table in remembrance of important people in your lives that weren’t able to be with you on your wedding day. You could also see about carrying something that was important to her when you walk down the aisle or somehow incorporate her favorite song or food or something.

Give it some time and some thought. I’m sure you guys will figure things out.

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