Help me choose a veil
more by catlady
Our Magnet Street STD
Oh Hive, I just want to cry.
more in Emotional
Hopefully a last......
march? maybe!
more in Boards
Ipod touch apps?

Feeling down/jealous

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
  •  
    1.
    Member
    695 posts
    Busy bee
    catlady    June 26, 2010   Toronto

    Hey hive.  I've been crazy busy of late and haven't been here for a while.  I'll try to make this short and sweet, I just really got get something off my chest.

    To start, my FI is Caucasian and I am from the Philippines.  Although we moved here when I was 7, it's fair to say my parents feel more Filipino than Canadian.  When FI and I got engaged on Valentine's Day, it felt super awkward facing my parents.  They were subdued, and even though my dad had given his permission for FI to propose, I always felt like my parents weren't 100% happy.

    Tonight my brother (who is a year older) just proposed to his gf...she is Filipino.  She and her parents are over at my parents' home talking and laughing.  They seem genuinely excited about the engagement and I can hear them talking about the wedding which will likely take place in 2011.

    It just saddens me that our engagement wasn't met with the same enthusiasm, and yeah, I am super jealous.  My parents have never made an attempt to meet FI's parents and we've been dating for 8.5 years.  Maybe my parents are more comfortable around those who speak their native tongue, but it really hurts to see the difference in how they've handled our engagements.

    I need a hug =(

     
    2.
    Member Icon
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee
    CheesetomyWhine    10/30/10   Rhode Island

    Aw you poor dear *Hug* That isn't very nice of them at all. They need to put aside their personal feelings especially since you're with someone who loves you and who you love  back. 8 1/2 years is a long time and they should have been making an effort. congrats to your brother but honestly that is awful that you and your FI have been treated this way. We're here for you if you need to vent!

     
    3.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,485 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    Oh, I'm so sorry, that must be really disappointing! Is it because you feel deep down that you're parents don't 100% approve of you marrying someone who's not Filipino? Either way, I can see how hurtful their lack of enthusiasm would be, that's not fair! I wish I had some good advice but the only think I can think of is to talk to them about it, which would not be an easy convo to have but might help somehow??? 

     
    4.
    Member Icon
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    Paz1697    July 31, 2010  

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through, and I completely empathize.  It's sooo hard understanding my parents sometimes, who are not fully Americanized yet.  Everyone says the answer is better/more open communication, but that's just the problem!!  I don't know that there is a real answer in your situation, and if there is, I certainly haven't figured it out yet.  My FI has been through quite a bit, but my parents finally came around and now they love him.  I will never understand their process or reasoning, though.  Hang in there--you and your FI have made it 8.5 years already!  

     
    5.
    Member Icon
    Member
    1,819 posts
    Buzzing bee
    cinemaparadiso    July 16, 2015  

    Aw girl, I know this is going to happen to my FI and it's not even because we're different races--just because his parents like his brother more. It makes me sad and I wish everyday that people didn't have to feel like that! I hope that despite this, you have a good holiday season... go cuddle with FI and a couple of mugs of cocoa and feel better, or do something nice for yourself :)

     
    6.
    Member
    8,542 posts
    Bumble
    Beekeeper
    noritake22    March 31, 2011   Seattle

    I am sorry you are going through this, but do you think that maybe it is because you are their baby girl and they don't want to give you up? Sometimes parents have an easier time giving up their sons than their daughters. I am sure that they just want to be sure that you are going to be happy.

     
    7.
    Member Icon
    Member
    294 posts
    Helper bee
    Sharron04    April or May 2011  

    I am really sorry you are going through this....*hugs* I agree with everyone else maybe try talking to your parents about how you feel...maybe they don't really realize what they are doing....Also, I know sometimes its easier for parents to let go of males than females....maybe that is their issue..who knows but really sorry....

     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    alundberg    February 13, 2010  

    ((HUGS)) - that stinks that you're going through that!! I can relate, as my friend is going through a similar situation with her family. Her FI is not from the area, and her family always expected her to marry someone from our hometown. She's dealing with the "they say they like him but they don't act like it" feelings right now, and what's worked well for her is to be honest with her family and show them why she loves him so much. Best of luck, dear!! They'll come around!!

     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar
    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More
    User Posts Today
    ticatica 13
    fivemonthsnotice 12
    MrsOliveBird 11
    aussiebee 10
    janetsnakehole 8
    Scottish_lassie 7
    GelaMac 6
    j_jaye 5
    MrsMSmith 5
    Rivendeler 5

    Emotional

    User Posts Today
    MrsOliveBird 1
    miss_blondie86 1
    Dizbee 1
    KellyLouise 1
    More