(Closed) Feeling evil… is this too low?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Can I use facebook to publicly shame this obstinate non-RSVPer?
    Go for it, indulge the evil! : (24 votes)
    22 %
    Now Greenleafmountain, you know you're better than that! : (86 votes)
    78 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    617 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    Don’t do it!!  lol I’m talking you out of it now.  You will most likely regret.  Let FI handle it and try not to worry about him.  He will be the last person you will ever think of when it comes to your day.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    1297 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If this guy doesn’t bother answering you or your fi’s e-mails–then screw that! He shouldn’t come to your wedding.  And if you don’t care much for him, then better that he’s not there.  You mentioned that he is notrious for this–I think he needs to learn his lesson.  Consider him not coming and if he mentions it or shows up tell him that he missed the RSVP date.  Do not go crazy trying to get in touch with him.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2006 posts
    Buzzing bee

    If you really feel the need to write that, I would send him a private facebook message. “Shaming” him on his facebook wall seems a little high school to me :/

    Post # 7
    Member
    1104 posts
    Bumble bee

    It seems odd to invite someone to your wedding that you *never* see in person, although I do understand about keeping the peace in a social circle. I would probably not call/email every 2 days, because it sounds like a waste of time. He knows you’re waiting. I’d leave it until the last minute, call one more time, say if we don’t hear from you by 3pm tomorrow we will assume you’re not coming. He clearly doesn’t care so I wouldn’t waste too much time or effort on him to be honest!

    Post # 8
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    Don’t do it. You’ll come across as a bitter bridezilla and you still might not get what you want which is a yay or nay from him about whether he’s coming or not. Facebook is never a good forum for venting – I was once looking through the wedding photos of a friend from highschool and her pictures were beautiful up until one of the comments was from her abusing a guest because he had RSVP’d yes and then not showed up. It wasn’t cool. If you have to confront this guy do it in person or over the phone. A public forum isn’t a good idea. Even if you do what bride2bejc suggested and leave a message on his phone telling him that he’s missed the RSVP date and therefore you’re assuming he’s not coming.

    Post # 9
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I agree with Miss Sparklespaniel ! While he is the one being rude, if you retaliate on FB then you will be the one who seems ‘mean’ to the casual observer. Just say what you want to say via email or voicemail – that if you don’t hear back by X date and time, you’re putting him down as a ‘no’ on the RSVP list.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    If he doesn’t respond after 3 contacts (either by voicemail, text, e-mail, etc), I would say that he isn’t coming.  If he decides to come, I would just tell him that he’s more than welcome to attend the ceremony, but unfortunately you aren’t able to add any additional people to the reception as the final numbers were already due.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I just think that is ALOT of effort to go through for one person. I would just assume he isn’t coming.

    Post # 13
    Member
    505 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Screw him…i wouldn’t even waste my facebook time on him!  I wouldn’t even waste my phone time on him.  He was given a date..hes an adult and he can read…he knows when he should RSVP.  If he doesn’t, then oh well.  I would just go with EvaBoston…”you can come to the ceremony but there is no room at the reception.”

    Then under my breath as I walk away would be “theres a McDonald’s down the street” but thats just me LOL!!!!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1418 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I am kinda sorta on your side…as in that is something I would absolutely want to do, but I probably wouldn’t.  If you have not heard of him by then, you don’t count him as coming.  If he shows up, you get someone to let him know there is not space for him, as he did not respond to you in time to order his meal.  Too bad for him for being so lazy that he cannot check a box or pick up his phone.

    Post # 15
    Member
    7779 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would just consider him not coming and dont plan for him. Dont order him a meal, dont make him a chair, nothing. Then, I would tell my event coordinator to look out for him and if he shows up, inform him that he did not RSVP and so he does not have a meal or any place to sit. I would make it clear to the event staff that there will be no “squeezing someone in” at any of the tables.

    Screw him. I hate people like this. It is unbelievably rude. I agree with bride2bejc, he needs to learn his lesson.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1391 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    hahaha @ suck an egg lol

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