- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
Hi Bees, going anonymous for this one just in case.
Ugh, not sure how to start his vent, since there is so much backstory, but I’ll try to get at the point. Every time I’m around my dad’s girlfriend she gets on me with a lecture about how I should; forget about the wedding, they’re nothing but a waste of money, no one needs to see us get married, we can just have a fun party instead, money, money, money, waste, waste, waste… etc. Last night she added “When I got married in 1987, we spent $350,000 on the wedding, which was a lot of money in back then & looking back it was the biggest waste. No one remembered the lobster & caviar…” blah, blah, blah… (Um, back then? Sorry, but in my world $350k is a ton of money to spend on a wedding even now days! I’m not trying to have anything CLOSE to that amount of money.) This is a woman who does not work. Based on her history she is what most would consider a “gold digger” and she’s telling me that my wedding will be a waste of money. She started with the comments (never in front of my dad) the day I announced my engagement.
I know that I shouldn’t listen to people’s opinions during this process, but this particular one hits me in a sensitive area. I can’t help but feel guilty every time I think about the costs. There’s not much I can do about the 300+ person guest that is primarily made up of family & my dad’s friends/business associates. A year ago I was all about the idea of eloping… but now, I want to stand in front of my friends and family as we say our vows. I want to walk down the aisle with my dad. I want our remaining grandparents to be there. And I want our guest to have a great time as we celebrate with good food and drink. And every time she gets in on me I feel guilty for wanting it.
FI & I are going to look at venues this weekend, but after last night I can’t help but feel deflated. Part of me wants to say forget it, cancel our weekend, reevaluate needs vs. wants, and figure out a way to have a less expensive/smaller/local wedding. (We really wanted to do a semi-destination, about 2 hrs away. Everyone we’ve told that we’re considering this location gets really excited.) The other part of me thinks, ignore her, continue on course, do everything I can to stay within the budget guidelines my dad gave me, and try to set aside the feelings of guilt. Sorry, to ramble on and on, just not sure who to talk to, as I hate bugging my friends with constant wedding stuff and I don’t want to cause a fight with my dad over this.