Post # 1
My FI has casually mentioned a couple of times about asking people not to give gifts because of all the travel some will have to do to come to our wedding. We are getting married in my hometown of St. John’s, NL and he is from Saskatchewan, so most of his family and friends are from out west, not to mention, with our jobs (military) we have friends from all over the country on our guest list. The thing is, and I feel so greedy about it now, is I am not really on the same page as him. I never planned on a registry, because people just bring cards with money these days and we already live together, but there are things I would like to get for our home or replace (like dishes), especially since we’ll be moving about 5 months or so before the wedding.
Any advice on how to bring this up without sounding greedy? I feel horrible about this!
Edit: Just to add, I have already decided that I don’t care if people bring a gift or not. I love cards. I just don’t want to directly say anything, you know.
Post # 3
I agree with you on this one! If they attend the event I believe it is just nice to bring you something. I would let your guests do as they wish and if you don’t get a gift then atleast your Fiance won’t be mad because he already wasn’t expecting one but don’t tell them not to bring one or maybe no one will bring anything!!
Post # 4
@NewfieBullet: People will never give more than they can afford to. I personally hate gift registry’s because I feel like the couple is saying to me “Here you go, this is the stuff you have to buy me”. I agree with you most people do just bring a card now. So unless you are demanding a gift from people you really aren’t being selfish or greedy.
Post # 5
I dont think you should expect gifts if people are shelling out to make it to your wedding (with hotel , accomodations and food it will get pricey) perhaps you can register for your dishes at your shower?
Post # 6
Personally, I would not directly tell people not to bring a gift. But I would emphasis that more than anything you just want them to be there to celebrate with you. Personally, I’d rather not discuss other people’s finances.
You should definetly start a registry. You can pick items with low price points, which will help people who don’t want to show up empty handed. And hey, how else would they know what color towels you want. If I only could afford $25, I would rather get you a gift than give you the cash. It may just be me, but I think it look better.
Post # 7
Also places like Bed Bath and Beyond have a store to store shipping where you can register, lets say at your home town. And I here in Virginia can go and pick out what I wanted to buy off your registry, and say it’s for this registry, and they notify your store, and your store notifies you its ready for pick up.
Post # 8
Don’t feel greedy. Just because you register, it doesn’t OBLIGE your guest to go through that…Register for a few things 🙂
Post # 9
Don’t feel greedy. I’m opposite of some PPs – as a guest I have always preferred to purchase off a registry, because I knew I was buying something the couple really wanted. (although now after being on the planning side, I will probably just give cash in the future).
I never spent more than I could afford, though, and I bought the gifts because I wanted too. So don’t worry there.
As for how to phrase it… we just linked the info on our website under a tab called “our Registries” and said “Thank you for thinking of us” on the page.
Post # 10
I actually agree with your FI, its nice to say “ohn you dont have to bring a gift” The truth is those who really want to give you a gift willbring something anyway. I didnt have a registry and I told everyone who asked me about it that I didnt expect any gifts but I still got a lot of cash and a few gifts, even from those who didnt attend