Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor has offered to throw me a shower and a bachelorette and I am very thankful. From the get go, i was very excited about both parties and getting to see my friends that live far away and have a fun weekend with them.
However, now that the excitement of it has worn off, I am starting to feel guilty. I don’t want people to have to travel so far and spend so much money on me. Bachelorette parties are pretty expensive and to have to do that on top of a shower? I just feel so bad. I don’t want people to have to waste all this money on me. I’m trying to tell my Maid/Matron of Honor that i want the bachelorette to be low key and cheap – ie. going to the beach and then just hanging out for drinks at my place or something. but i still feel bad that people are going to have to go out of their way to come here and stuff.
i mean, i guess if it’s out of their budget they can just stay at home right? im just hoping none of them feel TOO obligated to come.
and then when we were registering, i felt terrible asking for so much stuff. like, we would never buy all that stuff for ourselves, so why are we asking everyone else to? we’ve gotten along fine for the past 10 months that we’ve lived together, so why do we need more stuff now?
has anyone else felt guilty about these things before? how did you cope? part of me wants to cancel the whole weekend, but i can’t really because my Maid/Matron of Honor already sent out evites. (not real invites yet, just evites to save the date of the weekend).
Post # 3
I felt really guilty over registering, and my mom kept telling me, people want to support your marriage, to show they care, and to love you by buying you things, coming to the parties, and going to your wedding. Be thankful for all these people who love you and want to celebrate with you, rather than being in the unfortunate situation of having to ask why no one is throwing you a shower.
Don’t cancel the weekend! I’m sure your friends want to celebrate with you, and, like you said, if they can’t afford it, they won’t make it.
Post # 4
I felt like registering for so much gave people OPTIONS on what to give us! Some people preferred to give us smaller, more fun things, and some wanted to give us important formal things. We didn’t get even half of what we registered for, but thats totally fine. Just be sure to put lower items, like laundry baskets and stuff like that, so that people can buy you something and feel involved if they want to.
Post # 5
I know the feeling of gulit that you are talking about…but the truth is; people just want to show their love and support!
Just be thankful and enjoy! 🙂
Post # 6
Naw, dont feel guilty. I love bachlorette parties – it gives me a great excuse to go out and party like I normally wouldnt. Same with the shower, it’s usually a good time hanging out with friends.
Post # 7
Absolutely…I felt like I was over-inviting, over-registering, and asking for too much. But you know what? My girls are just as excited for me! I made sure they knew that I didn’t expect them at everything and wanted to keep them with-in their budgets on things. As far as the registery goes, just make sure you have a wide variety of prices for all your guests.
Enjoy this time! YOu are loved and people want to show you that!
Post # 8
It’s sweet that you’re so considerate, but remember that PEOPLE WILL DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO. If they don’t feel that they can comfortably make it to your bachelorette then they won’t come, but also remember that people plan for these things ahead of time. I would go halfway across the country to attend a bachelorette party for any of my closest friends, especially if I had reasonable notice & time to plan. As far as the registry goes, people will make purchases of things that they feel comforatable buying. If they don’t want to purchase off the registry then they might just give you cash.
Post # 9
How have you felt when going to showers or weddings or buying presents for your family/friends? I’m going to imagine you liked these things and enjoyed sharing the experience and all that. Your guests will feel the same. You aren’t asking for extravagent stuff so try to enjoy it. I know I have similar feelings of guilt but I really try hard to not indulge those thoughts. There’s nothing worse than friends doing things for you and you don’t even enjoy it because you feel guilty. That makes everyone else feel bad too. So make sure everyone knows that you aren’t expecting people to go over the top with stuff and enjoy whatever happens. You have the right. These people are your friends. It’s why they’re doing all this in the first place.
Post # 10
Wow, I never thought of it that way! I mean, of course I was really excited for my friends to get married. I just never thought that they would also feel the same way? I guess I don’t know why it didn’t dawn on me. I just assumed everyone saw it as something they “had” to do instead of something they wanted to do. That makes me feel better.
I guess i’ll never know if they are doing it because they have to or because they want to, but it makes me feel a little better. i guess just because my friends are all young (i’m 23, so my friends are all recent college grads like myself), that i figured no one really has spare money to spend. but they will hopefully only spend what they want to, not what they feel obligated to.
Post # 11
I understand how you feel. I am having some remorse (just a little) about registering. I wasn’t going to and then my bm told me I had to because it was expected and I should go ahead and so it. I don’t want people to feel obligated but I guess I see it as suggestions and they don’t have to. Besides, my registry has a wide range of prices, from $1 up to $130 (and 130 is the most expensive item on the list). I do feel bad about having so many items on the registry though but again, it’s just giving guests options.
As for my bm throwing me a shower, I am always asking her to let me help becauce I dont want her shelling out money she doesn’t have to throw me a shower, but she is being great about it ad refuses to let me help, which is a relief. LOL
Post # 12
After my shower I said to the room full of family and friends ‘I feel so greedy’. I got so much stuff at my shower and it made me feel totally guilty! But with some thoughtful and sincere thank you cards (sent out the next day, yay for being efficient) and remembering how excited I am to GIVE gifts at other peoples showers, I felt a lot better!
Hope you have a fantastic time for your shower and bachelorette!