Post # 1
I was raised to be self-sufficent and make things happen on my own, my FI is the same way so when we started planning to get married we decided on our budget (what we could afford) and planned from there. My FI and I are both middle-aged and used to handling things on our own. When my parent’s found this out they were really upset and over several days of crying phone calls from both my parents (about how they’d always dreamed of paying for my wedding, and that it was really, really, really important to them that they did) we agreed that they would pay for the wedding. Other than my mom making comments that she’s worried that I’m going too cheap and not getting the grand wedding I wanted things have been fine. The problem is that I feel embarassed and ashamed when people find out that my parent’s are paying for our wedding, I’m eternally grateful, but I’m 34 years old so it seems wierd.
Does anyone else ever feel this way or am I just nuts?
Post # 3
@renwoman: I think it is good that you feel this way. It shows that you are a grounded person who respects their parents and money and that you appreciate what a great gift this is. It would be weird in my opinion if you didn’t feel these things.
Post # 4
@renwoman: I’m 27 and my Fi is 28, and we had originally planned to pay for our wedding ourselves. My dad and his parents are INSISTING on at least splitting the cost of the reception (if they hadtheir way they would pay for everything). I also feel guilty because our parents are 10 years away from retirement, and they should be saving their money, but my dad told me he’s been putting money away in a secret wedding account for me ever since he and my mum got divorced (she got almost everything in the settlement).
So to answer your question, similar situation, we’re slightly younger but I feel weird and guilty because we’re quite a bit older than most first time marriages in our area/social circle.
Post # 5
I think feeling this way just means you have a string ethic and are a good person. If guilt is the only negative feeling you’re having, then let them. It’s a wonderful gesture, and you deserve it.