Post # 1
I am not sure if I am just being silly with this… and need some advice!
My SO and I have been together going on 2.5 years. We are not engaged. When we moved in together about 10 months ago, we set up a joint bank account for housing expenses, groceries, etc. We do not have money left over at the end of the month, and we each have our own accounts where we have our savings, etc.
I am a teacher, and we have been on strike since mid June. I had money for the summer, but did not expect the strike to continue into September (with no end in sight!). I was unable to pay my share into our joint account for September, but have been buying groceries using points from my credit card and what little savings I had left. Both of these have dwindled and I now have nothing.
I am finding it extremely stressful and am feeling very anxious. For one, I am unable to do much of anything. I can’t go out with friends or do anything that costs money, and I’m trying to keep my driving to the minimum because I can’t afford to keep filling my car up for much longer. For two… I am plagued with the guilt that I am not pulling my weight in the house. My SO says that it is his job to look after me, but I disagree. I believe that, at the end of the day, I am NOT his wife, I am his girlfriend. I feel that it is my responsibility to pull my weight and contribute financially, and I am not doing that. Now I’m feeling stressed about not only catching up on my bills once I’m back at work, but also finding a way to pay my SO back.
Post # 2
Dreaming42: Maybe you should consider going back to work. Last time I checked, going on strike was a voluntary action. Have to wonder how all of your coworkers are surviving without working for that length of time.
I agree that teachers are way underpaid, but it’s pretty sad that the kids have to pay the consequences. That’s what I would feel guilty about, moreso than contributing to my household and having extra spending money.
Post # 3
ok here is my advice. Have you consider cutting back on certain things in the budget? If it were me here is a few things I would cut.
1. Cable- it’s not that important, instead of cable you get a Roku streaming box or an Apple TV streamer and have hulu and netflixs. This should cost 50 dollars or less a month
2. Food- eat out less, cook at home, bring food from home for lunch, don’t buy lunch. Cook multiple meals one day a week. And put them in containers and use those for the week.
3. Gym membership- do you have one? If so cancel it temporarily, exercise from home or go walking outside.
4. Entertainment- cut back on expensive entertainment. Do things that cost no money. For example during the summer go to the beach. It dosnt cost a thing to go to the beach. Instead of going out why not have a game night or movie night with your friends.
These are the tips that I can think of.
Post # 4
PoliticallyIncorrect: in some cases you can lose your job for crossing a picket line….
OP are you a teacher in BC? If your plans are to marry your SO, I wouldn’t worry too much, I’m sure one day you’ll make it up to him! You could even tutor students for cash while on strike…. Hopefully it’s over soon!
Post # 5
PoliticallyIncorrect: If everyone through time had taken that advice, we’d all be screwed. Thanks to unions we have weekend and holidays off. Not for much longer, though.
Dreaming42: that sucks. this is a part of life,unfortunately, but it’s awkward when you don’t feel you’ve made this commitment. In truth, though, when we commit to live with someone, we are taking on a lot of similar responsibilities. Is it possible to work another short term job in the interim?
Post # 6
Wow. Didn’t expect to be bashed 🙁
I don’t want to be on strike and really want to be back working. If I cross the picket line I could be fined and/or lose my job. Plus, there’s no benefit to crossing the picket line if I can’t bring my students with me! I would give anything to be back working. And yes, my students are very important to me and I want them back with me… but in the end, I work to support myself, and so my financial stability is still a major concern to me.
We have cut back a lot… I’ve been cooking meals at home (not eating out as much). I’ve suggested dropping cable but my SO really wants it for the sports. I do think that we will be married eventually… but I still struggle with the fact that because we aren’t, he isn’t responsible for paying my way. I want to be able to look after myself.
robynrox47 Yes I am. I’m praying it ends. I keep getting my hopes up. It’s a big fat joke. This should have been resolved in July!
Post # 7
tinytina – I will be doing some babysitting/tutoring and teaching somehorseback riding lessons in the meantime, but we are not supposed to be doing this during regular school hours. I applied to some after school science programs/teaching programs but at this point, it’s tough because any potential employer knows that we coul be back in the classroom at any time. I gave up serving in restaurants after ten years serving last year and thought about going back… but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep up the hours once I was back in the classroom (teaching in a new program that will likely require about 12 hours a day of work and prep).
Post # 8
It sounds like you’re doing what you can to keep things going smoothly. Don’t be hard on yourself, and listen to your SO.
Have you considered doing some sort of job to bring in money? Maybe you could be a tutor, nanny, or babysitter. Jobs like those could bring in enough cash to pay some bills and ease your worries.
ETA: I read your updates. It’s great that you’ll have some money coming in. I hope the strike ends soon or that you’ll find a stable source of income. Again, don’t be hard on yourself; you’re doing your best. It’s great that you have such a supportive and understanding SO.
Post # 9
My FI (recently engaged) has been the main “breadwinner” for the past three years of our relationship. And when it first happened it was really, really tough on me. I went from being independent to having to rely on somebody through no fault of my own. As it is right now I make enough to pay my car payment, credit cards, and the dogs monthly insurance And sometimes groceries. He pays EVERYTHING else.
it sounds like your SO is a good guy and understands that this is a tough period and no fault of your own. Let him help you during this time, especially if he is willing. Don’t let the strike cause stress on your relationship. Finances are a very serious thing, but you are lucky enough to have found someone who wants to take care of you during this terrible time. And while he picks up most of the financial slack, do more around the house and small things for him to show him that you appreciate what he is doing for you.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies. I will try to let it go and try not to worry so much about not covering my costs… and will cross my fingers that I am back to work in the very, very near future!!
Post # 11
PoliticallyIncorrect: “I agree that teachers are way underpaid, but it’s pretty sad that the kids have to pay the consequences. That’s what I would feel guilty about”
That’s noble of you, if of course you are in the exact same situation as the OP. If not, then perhaps it’s best not to be so judgmental until you’ve walked a mile in a teacher’s shoes.
Post # 12
Im so sorry you’re going through this…
If you feel guilty for not being able to pay for your share, maybe you could “pay” in other ways? Like cooking or doing a little more than your share of housecleaning. Just so you feel better, of course, not because you HAVE to :)<br /><br />Also, listen to your SO, he’s being great, no need to beat yourself up.
I hope everything gets better soon. hugs!