(Closed) feeling guilty =(

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Talk to her about it and see if you could split the cost of the dress. I am the Maid/Matron of Honor in my best friends wedding and i am currently not working but i do have money set aside for the dress, so ask if she need help first. And if she does, there is no need to share that with the other BMs.

45 min away isnt too bad, im sure she will still feel included enough. Be sure to invite her to everything and let her know you unerstand if she cant make it. My best friend is in Cali and Im in NYC so i understand.

Post # 4
41 posts
  • Wedding: January 2011

@HappilyEverAfter54: We paid for the Maid/Matron of Honor and Best Man and the others paid for themselves. Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man didn’t have well paying jobs like the others but bottom line it’s our wedding and we wanted to do that for them.


Pay for the Maid/Matron of Honor, ask her not to tell Bridesmaid and don’t tell anyone and nobody will know.

Post # 5
45 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

If you buy your Maid/Matron of Honor dress for her just keep in on the down low. no one has to know, what you do with your money is your business.  It is a special circumstance, and if they are your true friends your Bridesmaid or Best Man would understand. 

as for affordable summer dresses, try JCrew.  I Found my purple cotton summer Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses there around this time of year on sale for $60.  They were perfect and affordable. Target has a cute selection of bridesmaid dresses too. If you have nerves of steel, you could wait until mid summer and start looking for sales, when fall styles are hiting the racks and summer dresses will be going on sale.






Post # 6
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You can have her involved via the internet.  It’s fun to skype or google video chat while looking around at options online. You can send each other links and plan and discuss that way.  It will make her feel involved without making her come visit.  My Maid/Matron of Honor is 2,600 miles away, so that’s how we’re doing things.  


Also, you can pay for her dress.  Just tell her that you know she’s unemployed and don’t want to burden her with the cost of a dress right now.  Be clear that you are not paying for the other dresses, so you’d appreciate if she not tell anyone else.

You can get low-cost dresses at H&M, Macy’s, JCP, GAP, Banana Republic.  They should all have some cute strappy summer dresses. 

Post # 7
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You could offer to pay for the dress in lieu of getting her a Bridesmaid or Best Man gift – but you’d definitely have to have the right kind of friendship to offer (and let her decline if she wants!).

Also, I think a simple, “I’d love it if you can make it, but I understand gas prices, so I won’t be upset if you can’t” is a wonderful guesture, and she’ll be able to make the decision herself then about showers and parties and such. (Unless she’s hosting them – in which case why not let her host at home?) Or do you know anyone else that direction with whom she might carpool?

Post # 8
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I bought the dress for my Maid/Matron of Honor as her gift to help me out. 🙂

Try to save some $$ on other stuff?

Post # 10
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor is also 45 min away from me. I plan on driving to meet her a lot rather than having her drive 45 min just to my house.

Maybe you can go look at dresses at places like Macy’s, JC Penny, Kohls.

Post # 11
48 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wait for good coupons.  My bm dresses are turquoise as well, and I knew that my price point was $100.  I signed up for the emails for anywhere I thought I might find a dress, and a few weeks ago, J. Crew had a 40% off coupon for their “sale” items.  Not only did my bm get their dresses for a grand total of $107, but they also arrived within a few days.  The dresses are an awesome color and super lightweight for our outdoor August wedding!!!

The other option is to always tell them the color you want and have them choose their own dresses–just run them by you first since everyone has a very diff idea for what “turquoise” is!  GOOD LUCK!

Post # 14
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@HappilyEverAfter54: keep in mind that as Maid/Matron of Honor its pretty normal for her to have a completely different dress and/ or color.  Could give you some flexibility in finding somehting within her/ your price range.  Have you asked her how much she can spend?  It is possible she has already budgeted for this.

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