Feeling guilty about dress feelings…even with your guys' support…ugh…

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I honestly think it’s gorgeous.  Is it the non-traditional part the family is taking issue with?  Maybe with a veil it’ll look more “bridal” to them?  

Do you have a pic of you in the dress?

Post # 4
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Why not take some pictures of yourself in the dress? You can share them here and get honest feedback, or simply just see how things look from a new angle. It is also easy enough to order a veil from ebay or try out one with your dress at a bridal store and see what you think. I got a fingertip one for about $12 and it was very helpful in figuring out my overall wedding look. If you love the dress, don’t give up on it right away. Every bride looks gorgeous on their wedding day and I am sure your family would recognise that if they see you in it with your wedding glow.

Post # 5
Member
8071 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Honestly I think you have to honor your feelings here. I don’t care for the swirlies at all frankly and if you’re not the type to say to hell with everyone I love my bold dress then you need to change it.

I think you need to try things on in person with your family present- or at least the key figures so you can find a dress you are confident about because they are confident about it. Enough with the guilt- sell the swirls and get excited to find your dress. If you lose some money on the sale- so be it. It’s better than regretting and moping about your dress after the fact. 

Post # 6
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I think youve done the right thing. I wemt to my friends wedding in april, on her hen do she said she wasnt sure of tbe dress but everyone assured her it was the one and she would look lovely. The morning of her wedding she cried and she looked unhappy all day. She now regrets not acting on her feelings and changing it. Its not as if you have gone for a £1500 dress. Chill out go try on some more, start a fresh. If you come back to this you know it is the one. X

Post # 7
Member
2595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I will admit I don’t care for the style, but you shouldn’t care for my opinion. 

There must have been a reason why you picked that style. It is kind of unique so I’m thinking you would have an arty, creative side to yourself, even if you aren’t a loud person. I really think you should go back and try and remember why you loved it and why you chose it in the first place.

If you can still convince yourself, then there’s no need to convince anyone else. If you love the dress, it suits you and it represents who you are, then that will show through on the day and convince everyone, even if they still don’t care for the style.

I kind of know what you are going through as I had a dress even more non-traditional than yours (it was navy blue, and my reception dress was red). I didn’t bother really asking people or the Bee what they thought of it because – apart from the few of them who knew me well enough to know my tastes – I knew the reaction would be negative. You just can’t convince some people, especially if they’ve got a pre-determined idea of what a wedding dress should be. 

If you can’t convince yourself you like the dress than maybe it’s time to move on. Or maybe – since I’m guessing it wasn’t very expensive – keep it as a reception dress and go with something else for the ceremony.

Post # 8
Member
1432 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Get a new dress. You don’t like this one 🙂 don’t feel guilty! Just move on and pick a better one. Ur family and fiancé just want u to be happy (and feel beautiful). 

Post # 9
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

I went through something similar.  I bought a dress back in January for my August wedding.  I just happened to walk into a bridal salon and hadn’t even looked at dresses before to know what type of style I might want.  I ended up buying the 4th dress I tried on because my mother pressured me not to make a big deal about the dress and to take advantage of the sale that was ending that day.

Fast forward 6 months when the dress arrives, and I hated it.  I tried over and over to find ways to like it (change the belt, change the neckline, etc.), but at the end of the day, I just didn’t like the dress and it wasn’t me.  I’m not of these girls that needs a perfect dress, I haven’t been dreaming of my wedding dress for years, and I don’t like being the center of attention.  All I wanted was to feel comfortable the day of.  So I went to a place that sold discontinued and sample dresses and bought another dress.

Is it the dress of my dreams?  No–I’m not even sure what that would be.  But I feel confident and happy in it, which is enough for me because I am not looking for a fairy princess day (nothing wrong with that).  My FI was supportive and noted that with all the money we are spending on photos and video, the least we can do is make sure that I feel confident and happy in my dress, otherwise it could show all day.

So, go out and look for another dress and buy it.  I also felt ashamed about this, but you will see on this site that there are so many girls that this happens to.  Don’t worry about it too much.  Your secret is safe with us.  🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Don’t feel guilty about having feelings of regret. I’ve learned from being on weddingbee That It happens a lot. If I were in your situation,  I wouldn’t make any decisions right now.  Put it up for sale,  in as many places as you can.  But you have to understand that you’re not going to get the amount that you paid for it.  But, losing a couple hundred dollars is better than losing the whole amount of the dress, right?  That is, if you do end up not wanting this dress. I would continue to shop around for a new dress. Hopefully by the time you get an offer on your current dress, you will know whether or not you do in fact want to sell it or if you just want to end up keeping it. Shop around & see if there’s anything else out there for you, that you really love. If you don’t fall in love with anything,  then you’ll know that you want to keep the one you have.  Time will eventually give you your answer. 

Post # 11
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think you are just feeling this way because you haven’t seen the completed look. Take some shots with you in full accessories. Veil, earring, necklace make up etc. If you do get another dress make SURE you go ASAP because dresses take about 6-8 months to come in depending on designer.

Post # 12
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This website does create these scenarios for some people. Ring envy, jealousy, better pictures, better dress choice/dress regret its because you are still looking. If you tell yourself this is it, you found THE dress then you will stop looking for something better, something else. You have to be confident in your choices. Being on this forum does create that in itself. You can still look, but just know you aren’t looking for something “better”. Just because your family is making comments etc, it shouldn’t get to you. What if they said that about your soon to be SO? You’d tell em to kick it to the curb I hope 🙂 Good luck to you hun.

Post # 13
Member
1905 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

If you’re this torn up about it get a different dress. It wasn’t that much money in the scheme of things

Post # 15
Member
233 posts
Helper bee

AML8:  I’m glad that’s what you’re doing because that is what I was going to suggest. I still think the dress is stunning but that means nothing because it isn’t my wedding. See what your whole look looks like on you and if you still don’t like it then change your dress.

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