Post # 1
Sooooo…Our save the dates went out…and I didn’t send one to a good friend from college, mainly because she handles her alcohol REALLY poorly. I love her to death, but she generally ended most nights out at the bars crying and having to be scraped home and into bed, or threatening to throw herself off of the nearest bridge in fits of drunken rage over just about anything. Frankly, I don’t want to deal with the drama at my wedding (we have a 4 hour open bar, it wouldn’t be pretty)…so my fiance and I decided not to invite her. I felt guilty about it, but we haven’t talked for years, so I didn’t really figure it would be an ordeal. Now…I’m a bridesmaid in another friend’s wedding that’s happening before mine, AND she’s a bridesmaid as well. I’m mortified to face her, because I know she’s going to ask why she wasn’t invited. HELP! What would you do?
Post # 3
I would stand your ground and if she asks why she didn’t get a save the date tell her that you all simply weren’t able to invite everyone you would like, due to budget/space/etc. Hopefully she wouldn’t bring it up, though, considering you all haven’t talked in so long! Best of luck!
Post # 4
Yea, I would be terrified to face her too! Don’t get me wrong, I still wouldn’t invite her. But it’s going to be awkward. Just don’t tell her too much about wedding details and say you only have a certain number on the guest list… you have to leave some people out. Sorry!
Post # 5
My husband INSISTED on inviting his (then) friend and the friends fiance (the broke up) who introduced us. They were having problems so she attended without him- she popped some pills, got super drunk, etc.. I ended up with vomit on my dress and we had to drive her home at 4 a.m. because she refused to stay and was going to drive home drunk. I wish we would have let her get in the car and called the police, she was a tool.
Post # 6
How much time before your wedding is that wedding? If her drinking is the only reason you didn’t invite her you could see how she handles the alcohol at that wedding and then decide. She can still get an invite without an STD. Also, she might not act like that anymore. Your post suggests you haven’t hung out in several years.
If, however, the drinking is no the reason but that you have grown apart then just say sadly most of your invites went to family, the space isn’t that large, budget, etc…
Post # 7
@Talishazwi, that’s a good point! The wedding that we’re in together is before the invites for mine will go out, so we can go from there and see how she is now.
@maureen9004, I’m so sorry, that’s terrible!! That’s what I’m envisioning happening!!
Post # 8
Don’t feel too bad about not inviting her. If you haven’t really hung out in years, you’re hardly obligated to. Plus, you shouldn’t have to spend your wedding worrying about someone who can’t handle themselves around alcohol. It’s just not fair to your or your FI.
It does suck that you have to see her, though. I would definitely lean hard on the budget constraints :).
Post # 9
Ok soooo an update on this one. Crazy friend wasn’t crazy at a friend’s wedding in March, so I decided to invite her. At a friend’s wedding in May…back on the crazy wagon. Crying, screaming, ruined the bachelorette party, ran out of the wedding…whackadoo. I can NOT remember for the life of me if I sent her a save the date or not, but she’s back off of the list, and part of me really doesn’t care…how horrible of a person am I…?
Post # 10
Not horrible! It’s sad, but Don’t invite trouble to your wedding if you don’t have to.
Post # 11
Aww that’s such a tough situation. Good luck!