- 6 years ago
So a little background;
Im 21 and my boyfriends 25. We’ve been together for 5 and a half years. (yay us). Due to finances, school, and life in general, he hasnt proposed. But it’s not like we dont talk about it! We have plans for our wedding and our future, but he’s quite old fashioned and doesn’t want to ask my dad unless there’s a fabulous ring! I have no problem with that. But, last night we were talking and he basically blurted out he had been planning for a while that last night was going to be the night. It was our 5.5 year anniversary and he really wanted it to be moment. At first, I was dissapointed that he told me and I was really confused because I didn’t know what changed his mind!
Before I could freak out, he went ahead and explained some things to me that he has to plan around.
In Febuary, my best friend called me and announced she was getting married! At that point, her and her now fiance had been dating for 6 months, so I was a little surpised, but of course happy! She asked me to be her maid of honor, I happily accepted and she decided to have her wedding in VA (she moved to SC for work, but all of her family is here). In March, she came to visit and find a dress and a venue. She found both! Her venue is Norfolk Botanical Gardens, and its super gorgeous!
Now here’s where my bofyfriend’s plans changed. He didn’t want to propose to me AFTER my best friend. He wants her to have all her excitment, and me to have all of mine. He’s so sweet and I completey respect that, because all women want thier time to shine! He was also planning to propse at Botanical Gardens because we had our first dance there, and its both of our first dances (his prom). But, when I told him my BFF was getting married there he said he put the phone on mute and yelled a few explicatives lol. So, now hes back to the drawing board and trying to make it special but he doesnt want to have to wait untill next year to propose just because my BFF’s getting married.
I feel torn! We’ve been together for so long and for him to have actually made the committment and decision, we shouldnt plan our lives around someone elses! But, at the same time, it is supposed to be about her and her wedding and I’d seriously hate for her to feel like she has to be less excited about her wedding to help me plan mine. I’m just feeling lost and not sure what the ettiqutte is for this. I want to have my engagemnent and my day, but I want her to understand that Im not triynng to steal her thunder and she deserves to have every bit of my attention untill I wave goodbye to her as she leaves for her honeymoon!
I just need some advice or words of wisdom, how to handle it if he does propose before she gets married, and if im being selfish for wanting him to not plan it around her.
Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this.