(Closed) feeling guilty – former crush

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Here I go, doing my best to break your crush demons (because I’ve had them too).

At the end of the day, he didn’t choose you.  Even if he had a serious girlfriend and had serious feelings for you, he would have broken up with her at that time to give you two a chance.  Your husband is the one who put 100 percent faith in you and who loves you.  That is so much more than a ‘maybe’ with someone else. 

You have to know in your heart that even if Mr.Crush came to your door and begged to give it a chance, that you could say to him: Thanks for the compliment, but you missed your chance buddy.

You will always have butterflies or whatnot for your crush. That’s what crushes are. And I don’t think that it undermines your marriage.  

But like I said, your husband has done so much more than given you butterflies (which are actually kindof easy to come by compared to a true, marriage-worthy relationship).

Respect your relationship by NOT contacting old crush. You can do a polite facebook happy birthday, or ‘like’ a status here and there, but you need to keep your distance.  

K, that’s my best advice.  Advice I’ve given myself too! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think you are along at all!!  This might sound really bad (but I would tell my husband this whole story) I had a dream about my college bf I thought I would marry.  It was sort of odd (nothing sexual or anything like that).  We broke up mutually and on good terms and still talk sometimes.  We are both married and he has two kids and we have a daughter.  Sometimes I still wonder what we would have been like but I don’t think that’s a problem.  And like you said, you would never cheat on your husband! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
3142 posts
Sugar bee

@cannotwait:

I think this is a simple case of wanting what you couldn’t have.

Thats it, thats all.

The guy sounds like a douche and if he got divorced, there is probably a good reason for that (cheating perhaps?).

Leave the past in the past and if you really have troubles. Delete/BLock him from fb.

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