Post # 1
I want to start by saying that everything on Saturday went well! Even though there’s no honeymoon (we’re both back at work as of last Monday) I couldn’t be happier (and exhausted)!
What has me so hurt (besides the fact that DH’s company screwed up his PTO) is that out of all the people we invited, about 50, only 10 showed up. Many RSVPed and the rest didn’t say anything either way. Many of them were supposed to be good friends of mine. The guy that owns the venue and organized the entire event ranted that “Portland people are so unsophisticated! They could have at least RSPVed either way and called if they suddenly couldn’t make it!” I agree with him. In the Bay Area where I’m from, people would have informed me either way and people would have made an effort to make it. Interesting, a male gym buddy of mine was there with bells on, but a closer friend could not tell me either way.
Yesterday when DH texted a friend that didn’t make it, the friend responded by saying that “it was his birthday”. Basically he got wasted before 6:00PM and couldn’t haul his ass over to our venue which is very close in, almost in the middle of the city, in a very popular section of NE. The place wasn’t “out of the way” by anyone’s standards.
The venue was beautiful, the ceremony was unforgettable, the food was wonderful (everyone loved it) and the intimacy was nice but the place, though small felt empty with all of the tables that were set up and the before dinner snacks that was left uneaten. Many are stuffed in the fridge and the pumpkin, chocolate/hazelnut, and lemon cupcakes are in our freezer. I’ve given away many cookie favors to my therapist, the girls at my shipping place and complete strangers.
I know what’s important at the end of the day and very thankful that some of my family was able to fly in from out of state despite their academic schedules (teacher, principal, and university student), at the same time I’m hurt that we were snubbed on one of our best days in our lives and couldn’t share it with as many people as we wanted.
Post # 3
🙁 i would be hurt by this too..im so sorry. However, glad to hear your wedding went well!
Post # 4
I know you feel bummed out and thats a very normal response but a good thing to keep in mind is a wedding is between two people. You and your hubby. You CHOSE to share it with those people and to hell with them if they chose not to get in on a fabulous celebration. Keep your head held high and look at that NEW HUSBAND of yours and smile because you didn’t get jipped out of anything in the end!
Congratulations by the way!!! <3
Post # 5
I think you are right to feel hurt, that is just not cool at all!! I would be super pissed, not just hurt, that the people I considered closest to us, just decided not to show up to my wedding – you paid for them to be there, and they just didn’t show!
I think it might be time to re-evaluate the friends that left you in the lurch like that!
Post # 6
@CARA1978: Did you not try and track down people who didn’t RSVP to see if they were coming or not? It definitely stinks that people didn’ts how up, but the most important thing is you’re married! I hope you still had a wonderful day!
Post # 7
@CARA1978: Wow. Did you have to pay for 50 people? I have heard of one or two people not showing up but 40? That’s crazy.
Also, what is PTO? Is that why you can’t go on your honeymoon? I’m sorry that things don’t seem to be working out but at least you’re a happily married woman!
Post # 8
Use this as an opportunity who reevaluate your friendships with this people. Perhaps you are giving inconsiderate people more value than they are worth.
Post # 9
@Laurenskii: Thank you! At least there were no glitches!
@ohhbitty: Our plan was to keep it small not have a large celebration. Out of 50 I was expecting 30 and 25 did RSVP and that was fine with me. Thankfully I didn’t notice until halfway though the reception that there were only 10! LOL
@Baroness_Meg: I’ve been reevaluating for sure. There were supposed to be mature (in age) adults but they have no manors. The gym guy, my ex BF and the woman who works at a local bakery was there when people who are supposedly closer were not.
@MrsWBS: Yes and some of them confirmed.
What has me hurt more than anything is DH doesn’t have any living family members and the birthday boy (who was like a younger brother to him) could not be there, not even to sit thought the 15 minute ceremony and have a few drinks (on us). That really has me pissed.
Post # 10
@MrsPanda99: PTO = Paid time off. There were some “errors” at his company and the time off that he requested didn’t get processed (on their end) on time.
We paid for about 30 people in the end.
Post # 11
@BeeinBoston: For sure! My circle of friends was already pretty small but this shrinks it even more and I’m OK with that.
Post # 12
@CARA1978: Ugh that’s so rude. Unfortunately the past can’t be changed, so try your best to have your moment to be upset then let it go and move forward. As we get older we learn who our true friends are. It’s not always easy but it’s important to find out.
Post # 13
@CARA1978: First of all, CONGRATULATIONS!! 🙂
I am sorry this happened to you & I’d feel exactly the same as you. This is beyond inconsiderate. As @BeeinBoston: said, this is a chance to see who your friends truly are.
Post # 14
@CARA1978: That is so horrible. I’m sorry that this had to happen to you both and on your wedding day. But like others said, I guess you can take this as a way to reevaluate your “friendships”.
Post # 15
@CARA1978: I’m sorry that’s terrible. I’d be hurt. Honestly I don’t know if I could continue being friends with people like that. If they RSVPed no at the beginging ok, but just not show and and then say they were celebrating their B-day. That’s all sorts of rude and def not a friend.
Post # 16
@CARA1978: Wow….that’s pretty awful. I can’t believe 40 people didn’t show! That’s ridiculous. That’s like the number of cancellations you’d expect if you invited, say, 200 people, but not 50. Wow. I’m sorry 🙁
Like others have said, at least you have good memories of everything else, and that everything went well. Try to focus on that and on your awesome new husband. Above all else, congratulations on being married. 🙂