(Closed) Feeling hurt by bridesmaid

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5227 posts
Bee Keeper

@radical4peace:  I’m sorry your feeling were hurt by this. If there was one thing I learned while planning a wedding and getting married, it is to not keep a rally of “who did what” or ” tit for tat” for all of the festivities. It sucks/ hurts when you spend a lot of time and energy of someone and it doesn’t feel reciprocated. Just enjoy the people who DO show up. 

Post # 4
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

that sucks that she flaked 🙁 i would be sad too. you want all your girls with you at your bachelorette! i would say something to her about how you are really disappointed she wont be there but i wouldnt push the topic. she’s made her choice about where she will be that night. it is strange that she lied… could it be a money thing?

maybe suggest a one on one girls night with drinks so you can still feel like you had a special send off with her?

and as an aside, i have been in friday, saturday and sunday weddings… they are ALL a “huge demand on bridesmaids’ time.” having your wedding on a saturday doesnt make any of the other activities more or  less time consuming, inconvenient or expensive for your BMs. i know you didnt mean anything by it, but that comment just rubbed me the wrong way.

Post # 5
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2007

poor u 🙁

what are these other plans she has? because my opinion is unless its something very important like a job interview, family birthday etc then can she not cancel??

my 2 bridesmaids didnt know each other as one lives out of town in my hometown so i organised a weekend for her to come down, i checked dates with both BMs ok. so she booked her train etc then my local BM turned around and said she couldnt do it after all as she was going to poland and forgot the date! obviously i couldnt make her cancel a foreign trip but it really p-d me off and my other BM as she had booked her ticket etc

Post # 6
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I can understand why you’re hurt but its really best to just breathe and let it go. Enjoy your night with your girls, she’ll be sorry she missed it. If it were me, I would tell her that I was hurt because you don’t want things to fester, that’ll only lead to ill feelings the day of and no one wants that!

Post # 9
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee

You have every right to be upset. Just let her know that she hurt your feelings and move on. If she is a true friend, she will try to make it up to you.

Post # 10
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mrs Amanda +1.  You should be having fun, not stressing about who isn’t there!  I know it stinks, but wouldn’t you rather have a great time?

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