Feeling hurt & disappointed, am i over thinking it??

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@StarLight0789:  oh sweetie, I’m sorry you’re hurt. I personally wouldn’t’ feel badly about it though. I completely adore my family and friends, but I abhor shopping, and bought my dress online to avoid a group event. That doesn’t mean I don’t love them 🙂

Post # 4
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

Personally? I wouldn’t care.

But who else is invited? Is she making a big deal of the entire wedding or trying to keep things more low-key? It was really nice of you to offer for her to come with you, but it may not be her deal.

Post # 5
Member
1214 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe she has very little time and wants to get in and get out fast.  I can shop a lot faster without my family.  I wouldn’t let it bother me.

Post # 6
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think you are over thinking. Your FMIL might just want to go by herself. Some people think dress shopping is an important event, some just thinks it is simply buying a dress

Post # 7
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@StarLight0789:  I **hate** shopping, especially for clothes, especially for important clothes and oh lord help me if I’m shopping with other people. Maybe she’s one of those people. Seriously, I’m having a dress made mostly because I do NOT want to have some lady in a bridal shop shoving me into a million dresses that all my female relatives have decided I HAVE TO try. It literally makes me ANGRY to think about having to do that. 

Also, I would never think a shopping excursion of any sort would be “vital” to me building a relationship with anyone. I avoid shopping with people to preserve the relationship! So, yes, absolutely you are over thinking this and projecting WAY too much of your priorities onto her. She’s getting REmarried… she is most likely not doing a crazy dress runway show. 

Post # 8
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you are completely over thinking it. You’re not best friends by any means (from the sounds of it) – so why should she? I dunno, personally, I feel like it’s not the same in reverse. It’s also not her first time around, so I would imagine that she’s treating it a little differently this time.

Post # 9
Member
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@StarLight0789:  don’t be offended.  maybe she doesn’t want a lot of people with her.  i know that i certainly did not.  i didn’t even tell my mother when i was going.

Post # 10
Member
1887 posts
Buzzing bee

@StarLight0789:  I would try not to take it personally.  She is at a different place in her life and there is a good chance she didn’t want a crowd of people there.  Not everyone wants an entourage with them while they dress shop.  For some of us, extra people means added pressure and inconvenience.  It’s most likely not about you at all, so don’t waste time feeling hurt during a joyful time in your life.

Post # 11
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@StarLight0789:  I can see how it hurts but yes you are overthinking it. She might have other important people in her life to invite (sister, best friend, daughter). Or maybe she just likes shopping alone – it doesn’t sound like she was that excited to go dress shopping with you. Just let it go, there will be many other ways to bond with her.

Post # 12
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

You are over thinking it, she probably wants only very few people with her, if any. Are you part of the wedding party? If you are then maybe she would take you with her, but if you’re not, since you’re not her actual daughter it is unlikely she would take you. You took her, not because you were best friends with her I am assuming, but because she is the Mother of the Groom, which is a big role in the wedding.

Post # 14
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@StarLight0789:  Based on what you said, she sounds a bit like a smother mother, and I personally would not want to attend her dress shopping in the first place! So maybe it is a good thing she didn’t ask you?

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