(Closed) Feeling hurt, not sure if I'm being hypersensitive

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
6207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I think that this is a sensitive time for all of you, so however you are feeling is okay. However, just let it go, because they are just trying to do what makes the most sense. Since you have somewhere else to stay, it makes sense for someone else to stay in your room at your parents’ house. Also, there’s no reason why you can’t spend every waking minute over there with your sister and BIL while they are visiting.

Post # 4
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Deejayelle:  I don’t really think it’s ever wrong to feel hurt. Really, the only “wrong” thing is acting out because of those feelings and making others feel bad / worse. 




I understand what your parents are trying to do, but I’d probably feel a bit hurt, too, if they asked me to bug out when I’m grieving. It seems like they’re just trying to help everybody, but in doing so, they also seem to have assumed wrongly about your feelings on the matter. Wanting to be physically close to family during a time like this is natural, and it’s definitely not wrong to feel hurt. 


I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. For the loss, the situation and the feelings. It is never easy and feeling extra sensitive right now doesn’t help the rest of your feelings (of grief and of missing her) sort themselves out and it’s all just ten times harder. :-/

Post # 5
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MeiFrancis:  great advice

hugs to you during this tough time.

Post # 7
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Deejayelle:  *Hugs*, sorry for your loss.

Thinking as a parent of young adults myself, I’m wondering if they guessed – wrongly as it turns out – that you’d actually prefer to sleep at your SO’s, or at least wouldn’t mind.

Is it possible for you to sleep on the couch? Why not tell your parents you’d actually rather be with everyone at their house, and suggest you sleep on the couch. (I’m guessing your room is being offered to someone older who “needs” a real bed more).

Post # 8
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@paula1248:  this is what I was thinking as well.

OP, you have every right to feel anything and everything you are feeling right now. I think your parents may have been trying to show that they are okay if you want to spend more time with your SO during this rough time. They also probably saw it as you had somewhere to stay and so your room can be used for others. I’m sure if you bring up your feelings with your family they will reassure you that its okay to feel this way. 

Post # 9
3372 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m so sorry for your loss. My greatgrandma passed away almost two years ago, and I definitely  needed to be around my immediate family during that time. I’m sure your parents just assumed you would prefer to stay with your SO. Bear in mind they’re obviously going through this emotional rollercoaster as well, and they’re probably not being as sensitive or aware as they normally might be. I would gently let them know what you really need to be around family right now, so you can grieve together…I’m sure they will understand. For me, I would have slept on the floor if it meant I could be with my family during this tough time.

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