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I was afraid that we were going to go over our guest limit so I did a dance every time we got a no! BUT, all of our closest friends and family are able to make it. If any of them had RSVP'd no I would've been completely bummed.
I have some family members in Germany and was really hoping they would make it, but it was too much financially. It did upset me, but I wasn't mad since Germany is very far away :) If anyone close to us had said no without a good reason...well, they wouldn't be close to us any longer.
I have not seen my shower invite list (if there is one yet), but I saw the evite for my bach party. One of my cousins actually lied and said she was going to be out of town, I found out it wasn't true, not even cancelled last minute or anything. I have a feeling another close friend lied about having to attend a wedding that night, but she backs out of everything last minute, almost never comes out to begin with and always has an excuse that I can never really verify as we don't have the same circle of friends, but there's always a strong suspicion that she's making it up as she won't ever provide details after the fact, etc.
Then I was surprised at some of the people who did make it! Some girls who I"m friends with thorugh FI's friends made it and stayed out all night! It was great! :)
I invited about 10 people more than our venue can hold, and now some people my parents were sure would respond "no" have responded with "yes" so i'm holding my breath and HOPING for some no's. Considering MOST of the guests are the friends of my parents... I wouldn't be too upset unless they were families that are close to me as well.
I haven't even seen the invites for my shower, let alone a list since my mom's friends are hosting it.
I was happy when non-close people RSVPed no, but when close family did, it really hurt, especially since people knew about the date for 14 months. My husband's SISTER didn't come. I still don't think I've forgiven her for that. She really let my husband down.
When it comes to weddings of family members (third cousins I've never met don't count, obviously) I'm there barring any extensive travel that I just cannot afford.
So far the only no's I have received were from people that I expected to decline. But we have just started getting them back, so I sure things could change. I am worried that people that I am just assuming are coming might not be making it.
I know my FI's family doesn't really care for me but 4 of his aunt's replied no his sister and he invited his best man (wanted some company) and they all said no. I just hurts and bothers me that they can't show their support. They just all came for his sister's wedding last year. And my Papa's sister, my only tie to his family since he passed, said no as well. It's like people who knew about the date and you think would be automatic said no. I know it's only to the shower but I assumed immediate family would all attend unless their was something major going on.
When it came to the wedding I was also doing Bella's dance when we received a no because we had invited way too many people. BUT I was a teensy bit disappointed in my high school friend who didn't show up to either the shower or the wedding. She is the person I have known the longest and I never understood why she missed the shower. She did have a medical reason for not attending the wedding though.
I havn't had any showers or my wedding yet. But I'm interested to see who shows and who doesn't. Mainly because I'm expecting most everyone to come. No one really lives too far away. Most are right in our little town. So it will probably get interesting & i'm sure there will be some hurt feelings. So sorry you didn't get what you expected. I guess I would try and look at it @ least you'll know who really cares for you and your FI....
There are definitely some people whose "no" would upset me--but those are people that I know are coming. Other than that, I am with Bella and RoddyBride09: I'm doing a happy dance every time I get a no, because there are WAY too many people invited. If they all show up, I will be SCREWED. I blame this on the parents who kept adding people "as a courtesy" with the promise that they "definitely won't come!" Lies. ;)
I was a little hurt when family rsvp'd no, because I think a wedding is a big deal and I always make it to anything like that in the family! A couple of those family members are now getting married, and you can bet that I'll be there, but I guess that is just me! I also was a little disappointed that some friends weren't able to make it and marked no, but what really ticks me off is when they send in the rsvp marked yes and then don't show, don't call, no email, no I'm sorry nothing!!!
I have a feeling that I will be really hurt by some of no's. At Christmas we were all in the kitchen talking about the wedding, my family was asking questions and I think they might have been talking about it before I came in. My Grnadma asked jokeingly "What if no one comes?" I know it was a joke and just laughed it off, like "well then we'll have a lot of beer to drink ourselves". But I am getting the feeling that one of my aunts and uncles won't be coming, which will stink because I have traveled all over the place for their kids first communions and graduations, etc. My Dad isn't really involved with his family so I have always had to pay for these things myself, so I would be pretty hurt if they don't come.
I actually felt really bad that my aunt who means the world to me since I was a kid wouldn't be able to come. She knew about my wedding two years ago and she knew that I was gonna make her one of our sponsors (a filipino tradition, equal to a godparent during baptisms). She opted to go to a Turkey/Israel/Egypt vacation with my other uncle and his family. She lives abroad so either way, my wedding or the tour, she still has to travel half way around the world... Okay, I lie, she doesn't have to travel as long if she would go with the tour. But still, I'm hurt.
And she didn't even tell me that she wouldn't be able to come. My uncle had to tell my mom that she's going with them to that tour. My uncle and his family were invited too but I had a feeling that they were not gonna come because of some issues with my mom and my aunt (my uncle's wife).
Oh well, sucks!
I had a little bit of hurt feelings - I've already had 2 no's and we didn't even send the invites yet - just the STD's. They both have valid reasons, but still I get a little twinge. Oh well. C'est la vie.
I've been trying NOT to get upset about it. Last night FI got email from his aunt that only she would be coming (no 2 kids or hubby) mostly because of money and their trip to Austrailia/New Guinea a couple weeks later.
Yeah... I am going to say its okay for it to suck when people can't make it after a year or two notice. And even though I'd never say this past the board and to FI, but it sucks extra when people can't make it b/c they are going to Cochella or Austraila so they don't have money. - After all, they have lives too... bleh haha j/k
Money is just hard... we bought a house last year and had 7 weddings to attend/travel to and were in 4 of them and we managed to be at all of them and bought gifts and stayed in hotels and bought dresses i'll never wear again. Its disappointing when others aren't on board to do the same thing. - I'm w/ ya Stormy!! I'm kinda the last to get married so I guess I expected some wedding karma haha
I just remind myself that FI and I and our parents/sibs will be there. And that's what really matters. Sometimes you just gotta snap out of being disappointed b/c it'll start to taint the entire process. Just stay excited and focused on your dress or how pretty your flowers will be and how handsome FI will look. Stay posi!!
Sometimes circumstances get in the way!
I got a shower invite for one of my best friends yesterday and I never in a million years thought I would have to miss it! But on the weekend of the shower I will be out of the country at a National conference. I am heartbroken that I won't be able to be there!
These people may feel horrible that they can't come to your shower also!
It took everything I had to hold back tears when I saw my cousin's RSVP with "no" on it. All of my family lives out of state save for my parents, so I know traveling is pricey and that has been the issue with most folks. My cousin's wife is expecting their first baby 6 weeks after the wedding, and I knew she wouldn't be able to be there. I was bummed, but had mentally prepared myself for that part. I guess I just thought maybe he could fly out just for the weekend and be here with me.
I am so very sad. And also sad that I found this out from an RSVP card, and not a call or an email....
As they say, the show must go on....
I was a little upset to see the "regrets". I'm especially bothered since several of the girls in my family have gotten married in recent years, and I attended their showers, weddings, and then baby showers and christenings soon after. I know it's hard when you have little ones, but I feel like we've been planning the wedding for close to a year, we sent out save the dates, so it's not like trying to find a last minute sitter for a shotgun wedding. Part of me feels like they've had the attention they want, and now they're just kind of like, "meh, that's nice for you."
Yes, I know that's a bratty way of thinking and I'm sure it's not the case, and I'm sure that when we have kids of our own we'll see it's not as easy as it seems to leave the baby at home, and find someone to look after him/her, but that's just how I'm feeling right now.
Yeah, it sucks when you get the "no" from someone you really thought would make it...especially when you have traveled to their wedding in the past, made sacrifices to be able to afford to do that, etc.
I have to expect it because everyone has to travel out of state for my wedding. So I am expecting to see quite a few no's and most won't bother me. But when a close family member or a friend who has been close with me and FI for the 9 years we've been together says no (I am afraid a few of them will), no matter what I tell myself ahead of time I will still be hurt. We gave them 12 months notice which I thought was enough time to keep the date open and save up for a plane ticket, but of course things happen and some of the people we truly love aren't going to come here to be with us. :(
IMPO it would hurt me too. That being said: I did have to RSVP "no" to my best friend's BS because I had to work that weekend. Both Mr.TKE and my self are extrememly close to the couple, but I just couldn't swing it. I felt really bad about it, but I work every other weekend and it just...err...worked out that way.
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Does anyone get a little hurt when they see who replied no to their shower or wedding?
I saw our shower list and the people who seemed to reply no were those that are very close to my FI and I. A couple of our aunts aren't coming and one of FI sister's isn't coming. We both have large families, but I think immediate families should probably make arrangements but maybe that's just me.