(Closed) Feeling in limbo…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
15 posts

wow I’d do anything for my man to say that to me, you lucky thing! I bet he is planning a surprise in a wonderful location. Sounds to me that he wants to do things right and is waiting for that special moment. Don’t be too disheartened and keep us informed. I’m happy for you. Keep visualisthat his ring on your finger πŸ™‚ 

Post # 5
150 posts
Blushing bee

@KDOS: While my friends are more than sisters to me, I don’t bring some of this stuff up either. I just refuse to whine to them about something they’re not on the same page with.


It seems that he has made his decision on who he’ll be spending the rest of his life with! It doesn’t look like you have any reason to feel unsure about what he told you. Just realize that it took him 4 years to make a solid statement about marriage. Does he know that on average, it takes at least 2 months to get a ring, or the time it takes to plan a wedding? My SO thought you could get a custom ring in like 2 weeks… I wish! This isn’t necessarily asking for a timeline, but maybe letting him know the time it takes to get these things together might help him get his planning in gear.


And yes, you’re DEFINITELY not alone! My SO and I have been together for 6 years, and the first time we walked into a jewerly store together was this February, and it wasn’t even for ring shopping. The first time he ever suggested working on finding a ring was yesterday. It has taken some time to realize that for things to get moving he needs to be just as comfortable as I am.

Post # 6
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Don’t feel stupid about your feelings in this matter…I totally understand the frustration and stress of waiting and feeling like you’re about to “expire”.  I think it’s great that he brought it up first and that you have talked about it since. I think given that it’s only been what, a month or so since your Cabo trip and him initially bringing it up, you should continue to be patient and not push as of yet.


Since he is the type of guy who likes to be prepared and plan, it takes time to research what is in his price range, where to get the ring from, and how to propose.  


Most guys don’t like to feel as though the ladies are taking all the surprise out of it, by continuously asking about when when when! I know I was on my bf’s case before a lot (there were a lot of factors that made me feel like we needed to be engaged asap).  In the end I gave up on bringing it up and let him do his thing and during that time we ended up engaged.  We had been talking about it for about 3-4 months seriously (of me putting the pressure on) and have been dating almost 4 years.


Perhaps if this is consuming your life (as it did mine) you can send him a pic of the style you like just as an FYI, and not bring it up again.  For all you know he is out there checking out vendors for your perfect ring πŸ™‚


It sounds as if you two are on the same page, so all you need to do is be patient a while longer.  Good luck πŸ™‚


Post # 7
114 posts
Blushing bee

I think since he brought it up to you, there’s no reason why you can’t make the first move to get him to the store.


On another note, hang in there girl! My guy is very similar to yours (plans everything very carefully with logical pros & cons). He’s ring shopping on his own right now and wont tell my ANYTHING. I don’t know when he’ll buy one, when he’ll propose, if he has a plan already of if he’s still just procrastinating. And trust me I know, it’s so frustrating, confusing, and dishearting at times. But I take comfort knowing that other girls on here are going through the same things and most of them end up happily engaged πŸ™‚

Post # 9
366 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

In my opinion, and I’ve made my SO understand that, it is a decision that affects both of us, and he should be able to have an adult conversation about it (as another bee so rightly said in another post). Seriously! What is that??? I understand that we shouldn’t ask them everyday “Are you ready now? and now? what about now?”, but we have the right to talk about the reasons why we want to be married, ask him why he is hesitant or why he would want to get married, etc. And when we are both ready, well we should be able to talk about when we are making that official, so we can say “WE talked and decided to get married” to our loved ones, instead of “Look, HE told me we could get married and here is the ring!”… You can read my post about feeling like a circus animal… some comments were very telling as well. Also, beforeigocrazy’s post about a poll on waiting is very interesting as well! Again, I understand the pressure thing, but seriously, hello, it is 2013, why should I wait in the dark and in silence while my SO makes this huge decision that concerns both of us???

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