Post # 1
I am getting married this Fall. Last night my FI informed me that he has enough money to put towards our future house. He has enough to pay for 70% of the total cost and have a very small mortgage. He told me he received a substantial inheritance from a family member who passed away. We are six years apart and he works full time. I do not work, and when I move to this new city, I will practically have an empty bank account. My FI said what’s mine is yours, and I just bawled. He told me that when he fell in love with me, he didn’t care if I had a million dollars, or two dollars. I feel so inferior to him. The only thing I can put on our house is a very small inheritance that I received. Other than that, with paying for extra wedding expenses and being unemployed, I will have next to nothing by the wedding. He has said nothing about a prenup and I don’t think he will. I was so shocked last night that I didn’t know what to say. I don’t feel I deserve it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
Mr. D and I briefly looked into buying a house a few years ago. He would have ended up contributing the larger portion of money but we would have been riding on my credit. He’s going to be your husband! It’s okay!
I totally get the feeling of not wanting to be taken care of, or feeling like you’re unworthy, but he’s buying into your future together.
Post # 4
You said yourself that he is 6 years older than you and works full time while you are unemployed at the moment. You can’t expect to have as much in savings because you are in two totally different situations.
Plus – if a large chunk of his money is from an inheritance, it wasn’t through anything that he did that was “better” than you.
Post # 5
Sure you do. You’re marrying this man which makes you a team. He’s obviously okay with the contribution that you can make so you should be too. After you’re married there’s no “mine” and “yours”, it’s all “ours”. Don’t stress out about it. Just be happy that his inheritance is allowing you such financial freedom. A lot of people aren’t that lucky.
Post # 6
combining finances totally took some getting used to – but you do get used to it and eventually you will not feel that way anymore. When we first got married I felt very much the same way. I’ve always found pride in being independent and not having to rely on someone financially and while I worked, he still made triple my salary and honestly i was worried about spending money especially knowing he could see every transaction i made. A year later i’ve totally gotten used to it. It doesnt feel like “his” or “mine” anymore…its strictly ours.