- 3 years ago
Just need to vent and am seeking encouragement from any bees, who may have had or are planning a daytime wedding reception. If I am being unreasonable in my complaints, please let me know.
FI and I live in Manhattan, where the costs for wedding venues are extraordinarly high. I am originally from Manhattan, and FI is originally from a rural area in PA that is 2.5-3 hours driving distance from NYC. We decided early on that given the rising living costs in Manhattan, we wanted to be as frugal as possible on the wedding so that we can save for our future. And FI graciously agreed to have the wedding in Manhattan instead of PA because it would be easier for us to plan locally.
Upon making the guest list, however, it turns out we may be hosting 100-150 people at our wedding, the vast majority being from FI’s family (my invites make up 35 people). FI comes from a big, close family, and I want him to be happy, so we decided to try to make this work instead of cutting down the list.
FI suggested that we have a daytime wedding (10am ceremony and 11am-4pm reception) so that his family could drive into and out of the city the same day and not pay for the high hotel prices in the city. Additionally, the daytime wedding option is cheaper, so it allows us to afford more people at the wedding. I agreed, but have not been feeling good about this decision for a few reasons.
1. We are having an August wedding. We picked a beautiful venue with tons of windows by the water and views of the Statue of Liberty, but I am worried that people won’t let loose and dance from 11am – 4pm in a bright sunny space. I have been reading online of people regretting a daytime wedding because it did not feel like guests were really celebrating because the timing was awkward.
2. I am not thrilled about possibly having to wake up at 5am to get ready to be at the church at 10am. Further, even though we are having a daytime wedding to accommodate FI’s family, his mother is now complaining that people have to wake up too early to drive in and we are forcing people to stay overnight anyway the night before. Even though, we were trying to prevent people from having to stay overnight from the wedding ending late in the evening in the first place. We cannot move the reception time at all because the venue has another wedding the same evening.
3. Now that FI’s mother is saying that people will need to stay over in the city Friday night because the wedding starts so early Saturday, I am feeling bad that we could have had a normal, evening wedding anyway where people stay overnight Saturday evening if they choose.
4. We may be paying a lot for an open bar that people may not use because many people are not comfortable drinking during the daytime.
5. Everytime I mention to someone that we are having a daytime wedding, they make a sad face or ask me why on earth we would do that. It makes me very insecure. Pictures of other people’s beautiful evening weddings on Facebook doesn’t help either.
1. We are saving money by having a daytime wedding.
2. Even if FI’s family hates getting up early Saturday morning to get to the church, ultimately, they will have plenty of time to drive back home the same night and be in bed at a decent hour if they don’t want to pay for a hotel room.
3. I suppose we will have more time for pictures after the reception and at second location.
4. We’ll finish early and have time to rest and can organize an after party at a bar for people who will be around. (Although, I hate the idea of having to organize something else the same night to celebrate, when we are already organizing a reception.)
I am just having a hard time feeling good about the situation…and we’ve already booked. Would appreciate people’s thoughts.