(Closed) feeling.. just need to vent

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are overwhelmed, obviously.  You feel unheard.  Guess why?  Because you are being unheard. 

What those people are doing to you, including your FI, is WRONG.  It’s beyond insane.  They are treating you with contempt and total disrespect.  It needs to STOP!

Please talk to someone about this.  You are being too passive and “people-pleasing” and this lack of control is causing you health problems now. 

Make an appointment with a counselor.  Right now.

I’ll wait here until you report back.  Not kidding.

Post # 5
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Agreed.

 

Please stand up for yourself. Make your fiance listen to you and make HIM stand up to his parents. This is not healthy for you.

Post # 6
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mayflowerbride13:   Wait.  Your FI is in counseling for anger management?  Was this court-ordered?

And I mean make an appointment with a separate counselor, just for YOU.  ALONE.  You are going to get seriously sick from all this stress. 

Post # 8
Member
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mayflowerbride13:   Make an appointment with a different therapist.  You need some help because your parents are between a rock and a hard place and I really feel for them.  And your FI is overwhelmed because of his control-freak mother, too.

You need some boundaries set right now and a good counselor will give you the tools to do so. Your situation is entirely out of control and it’s not going to get better on its own. 

I’m glad to hear your FI is self-aware enough to get counseling for his anger issues.  That says a lot.  He needs to bust a move on his mother, though.  Then he can get back to anger management after that, lol.  She seems to be the crux of the problem.

Post # 9
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Do you think you could get your FMIL to go to a counseling session with you? That way a completely neutral third party is there to sort of mediate the situation. Also, the counselor may be able to help you find the voice you need to stand up for yourself and what you want on your day. His mother already had her wedding.

Post # 11
Member
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Don’t include your FMIL in wedding planning if you don’t want to cause conflict by having to say no to her. And I agree to go see a separate therapist. Stand up for yourself, and if I were you, I would push wedding planning aside for a week or two and do something for yourself. You’re too overwhelmed. Just know that even though it’s ovwhelming it DOES get better 🙂 *hugs*

Post # 12
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My FI went to anger-management related therapy and also had a controlling mother that ran our lives. It turned out that a lot of his anger issues stemmed from direct and indirect actions by his mother. 

 

Post # 14
Member
2420 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@mayflowerbride13: By any chance is your FI the “baby” of the family? Any chance her being so difficult could stem from the fact her “baby” is getting married?

I think that maybe it is time you and your parents sit down with FI and his parents are reallly discuss the finances. It isn’t fair that your parents told you would they would be willing to contribute and your FMIL has not offered to help pay even though she is making insane demands.

The topic ‘feeling.. just need to vent’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors