- 6 years ago
I get like this. The whole wedding thing goes in spurts. One day, I’m excited and wanting to shout from the rooftops. Other days, I would much rather crawl into a hole somewhere and forget about the whole thing. I know others of you have experienced similar, so I just thought I’d come here to get it off of my chest. Perhaps I’m a little emotional right now, although I don’t know why, because my period/PMS is over. I’m feeling really down, so if you don’t like a pity party, don’t read this.
Anyway, the main stressor/depressor is the financial aspect of this whole thing. When I reserved my venue, I was told that my wedding package included a semi-private room in the restaurant for my reception. Now I am finding out that the semi-“private” room isn’t semi-private, at all. It’s dead smack in the middle of the restaurant with no walls or anything separating it from the rest of the restuarant. In fact, during my reception, regular restaurant guests will have to walk right through my reception to get to their tables. Also, my guests will have to be separated. Half on one side, half on the other. I can get the private reception room, but it is $1000, and the food goes up to $35 PP. I can’t afford that. To be honest, I can’t afford the food in my semi-“private” room, either. I reserved my venue after FMIL insisted that she and FFIL would pay half of all costs. No, I didn’t ask, either. She offered. Now that my wedding has turned into a vacation opportunity for everyone, FMIL is renting a four to five thousand dollar beach house, instead of helping with wedding costs.
So, I can’t afford to upgrade to the private room, and the semi-“private” room is not ideal, at all. There is nowhere for a candy buffet. The seating is very secluded, booth style seating, so none of my guests would be able to interact with us or amongst themselves. The deposit is down and non-refundable, and I really don’t wanna take the loss/have to search for another location. I just feel so blah about paying all of this money and it’s nowhere near what I want =[
I have NO support. Like zero. All I have are you guys. How sad is that? My MOH is young and self-absorbed. She’s my sister, so I have to have her, but she’s not concerned about me or my wedding. FCIL, who was supposed to be another BM, has been less than supportive. She doesn’t help me with anything, doesn’t even ask me how my plans are going. All she cares about is playing house with her DH and other people’s babies (they babysit relatives’ babies to “practice”), in preparation for their quest to conceive. I was going to ask her to step down, according to a lot of advice I received here, but my FMIL didn’t like that idea when I told her. I honestly just don’t give a crap anymore. Whoever shows up in a dress will be fine by me. I just want this whole stressful thing to be done and over with. *Let me just say, I don’t expect anyone to be all about my wedding like I am. I honestly don’t even want a lot of help because I don’t want people interfering with my visions (I’m a control freak). But, tasks like addressing STD envelopes are overwhelming, and I could use some assistance and companionship while completing them.
Speaking of STDs, FMIL still hasn’t given me any addresses for her relatives. I am getting really, really annoyed at her general disinterest/lack of motivation. She gets offended if I don’t include her in every detail. Yet, she refuses to help me with the smallest requests. I do not ask for a lot. All she had to do was hand me her address book and I’d fill the envelopes out, myself. Nope. My STD envelopes have been sitting here for two weeks, un-addressed. Everytime I ask her for anything she forgets and I have to remind her repeatedly. I don’t like having to ask for stuff more than once. I feel like I’m being annoying when I do. So, I just stop asking or bringing it up after awhile. I’m not sure when the subject of STDs is going to resurface. I’m sure when she realizes that all of my family has theirs and none of hers do, she’s going to get mad, but whatever. I’m not asking again.
I’ve got two relatives who are getting married next week. This weekend, they’re both getting treated to these awesome bachelorette parties. I mean, carriage rides through the city, fancy lunches, going out to the finest clubs, having slumber parties with their BMs, doing girl stuff… The list goes on. Not only could I not make it to their awesome parties, I know for a fact I won’t be getting one of my own. If I do, it certainly won’t be anything like theirs. I can’t even conjure up more than two BMs. So, even if I did have a bach party, no one would be there, lol!
As much as I’ve done for everyone else, you’d think someone could spare a few hours to do something for me. But, no. I just want to give up so bad tonight. I want to call the whole thing off before I send out my STDs and it’s too late. Of course, I don’t wanna call off my marriage, just the wedding. It’s gotten way too stressful, worrying about this and worrying about that.