- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
Hi Bees, I’m back again with a new problem. I feel like that’s all I do on here, so I’m sorry if that’s how it looks.
Anyway, I got engaged a couple of months ago which was pretty exciting for me because a lot of my highschool friend’s seemed to be getting engaged or having kids all at once. For a while I was a bit jealous that my friends from school were “getting on with their lives”, so to speak, and I was still waiting on my bf of 3 and a half years to propose. I’m in my third year of college, and unsucessfully making many friends. I guess you could say I’m not all that interested in being in college but I do it for my family who saved and scrimped every last penny to send me, so I feel that I need to live up to their hard work and expectations and do well in college. Not to mention, a degree is going to help me find the job I want in the future.
So once he had proposed I felt like I had finally caught up with some of my friends who were engaged/married and I could ask advice about weddings, color schemes, wedding rings and pretty much everything I had no clue about. Although I didn’t feel so left out, I didn’t feel like many people gave a damn at the same time, probably because so many young people in my town are getting married. But I guess that’s to be expected.
However, you may have noticed that our wedding date isn’t until about a year and a half from now, which means we haven’t done much planning (due to me being busy in school and Fiance working all the time, not to mention we have plenty of time to talk about it).
But! Being engaged for more than a year has it’s downfalls. My friends who were engaged first are now in the final stages of planning. More of the few college friends I’ve made are getting engaged/having kids/etc… while I still havent been able to officially plan one thing for my wedding except the date! I noticed (on Facebook and through old friends) all the praise they were getting for being engaged, how grown up they’ve become, how proud everyone is of them…etc. But did that happen to me? Not really. My friends would ask, “Is this for real?” or “He looks like a nice guy.” Not once did I feel like my engaged/married friends were happy for me or even cared.
Once again, I feel left out! It might just be me, but it seems that since I got engaged and my more recently engaged friends have announced their happy news…I’ve become old news and I become older news by the day. While my friends are happily posting about their marriage licenses on Facebook, I’m still brainstorming silently on Pinterest.
It also might be worth mentioning that at one particular instance a friend of mine asked if she was invited to our other friend’s wedding. The conversation eventually led up to my engagement and apparently neither of them had remembered I was even engaged because I hadn’t mentioned much in a while about my own plans for the wedding. When I explained it was a 21 month engagement and haven’t had the time or focus, they both gave me a look that I will never forget. Have weddings become that much of a social status that we forget about it within a few days? I admit I hate being left out or left behind, especially when I’m afraid of being forgotten like that.
All in all I’m upset about my experience with being that newly engaged couple, only our happiness only lasts a few short moments. I understand it’s not about the wedding, to not stress about planning and I should focus on my Fiance and our future together. But I can’t be alone about this feeling of competition between people my age and when we get married or have kids…Can I?
Does anyone else out there have the same feelings of their own or been where I am?